I had another bathroom dream. It was weird and featured Sandra Bullock.
So I found myself squatting upon a porcelain throne doing a #1. The pot is in the far back end (no pun intended) of a rather large and sterile feeling office-y room. There is no privacy around the toilet itself. As I am wiping, someone walks into the room through the door which is on the far side of the room, directly opposite from me. They don't pay any attention to me, but of course I am pretty disturbed by their presence. A couple other people slowly enter the room, discussing amongst themselves, and I remain ignored and silent yet very uncomfortable on the John. I continue to try to wipe, but I am having a hard time cuz I have a long wool pea coat on atop a hoodie, and apparently the pea coat fabric was (suddenly but not noticeably previously) between my backside and the thrown, so here I am trying to wipe my lady bits by maneuvering between the fabric and my body. As I am doing this, all I can think about is "everyone is gonna think I took a dump when all I did was pee" because it is taking me so long.
I continue to be ignored but feel very awkward and exposed.
Next thing I know, Sandra Bullock enters the room. She is wearing a loose and casual off-the-shoulder half- or long-sleeved tee and no bra underneath. I know this because at some point, the shirt slides far enough off her shoulder to reveal the top of her full and youthful looking breast. Eventually, it slips juuuuust far enough for me to catch a glimpse of her nipple, which is placed obnoxiously high upon her bosom. Naturally, this makes me feel silently envious, as I have birthed and nursed 2 children, and I am not made of the sort of money to keep the fountain of youth flowing indefinitely.
/end scene
Next thing I know, I am being restrained by a male orderly in what feels like some sort of psych ward, but I do not feel crazy... instead I feel unnecessarily contained and restricted. I am wearing some sort of very short medical gown, and he is holding me from behind. Then suddenly, he slides his hand down the back of my right thigh and squeezes my leg and says "look at this" in a disgusted tone, referring to the cellulite he made visible upon pressure.
I feel publicly judged in this scene but restrained myself, similar to how I remained self-contained during the toilet/Bullock scene.
The finale occurs in a car with my boyfriend. He is in the driver's seat and I am in the passenger's. He says something along the lines of "I am really concerned about your drinking", but then proceeds to roll a joint which consists of the shittiest tiny 3 leaves of marijuana as if weed actually consisted of fucking leaves. So he rolls this "joint" up with these 3 dry-as-fuck leaves in this torn-as-fuck tiny segment of paper and takes a hit, then passes it to me. Naturally, I take a hit, but nothing happens as it was made of fucking crusty autumn oak leave segments or some shit consisting of an amount of THC only suitable for one, and despite trying 2 or 3 times, I am left hanging with no buzz. He then proceeds to criticize me (I don't recall if it was direct or passive, but I recall the feeling of being judged) for trying 3 times to catch a high despite the fact that he JUST TOOK A SUCCESSFUL HIT, then passed it to me all cashed out and shit.
That is the end of my dream, and the presence of silent shame and envy are phenomenal.