FDG
pathwise dependent
- Joined
- Aug 13, 2007
- Messages
- 5,903
- MBTI Type
- ENTJ
- Enneagram
- 7w8
I am not sure that we can say that ENTJs have an higher frequency of cheating on their mates over every other type. In any case, trying to get in the minds of people that are of the same type as mine, I think the cause might be that in the initial part of their marriage they deluded themselves that the girl they were marrying was a very good match for them, purposefully ignoring their intuition that pointed towards that being the wrong choice. I think that we often have the problem of being blinded by beauty. It's a rather common problem among males, but I arrogantly feel like we ENTJs do not fear approaching very good looking girls without thinking that, if we do not check priorly for other factors of compatibility, we won't be happy in a relationship with them.
Fast forward to marriage, and that's what happens. This isn't to say that they're justified to do so, I was just exploring the mechanism (and I'm fortunate to be young and already know it so that I can avoid falling in the trap, though only due to prior dating experience that followed exactly the same pattern).
I believe the "image" side of the equation can be considered true for some ENTJs (enneagram 3s?), meaningless for others (enneagram 8s?).
Could I imagine myself cheating? Not anymore, but if I was as inexperienced as when I started dating girls, I would have very likely been caught in an unfulfilling relationship. "Caught" isn't even the right verb, given that the choice was purposeful, voluntary, and conscious.
Would I tell it to my spouse? First of all, even if I were to cheat, I would never ever develop an "affair" with another party. This unless the marriage was completely fake to begin with. In any case, the reason why I wouldn't be open about it would be the kids, if we had any. Otherwise, I would definitely be open.
Yeah, I constantly think how many kisses I can get from a girl I'm going out with, and how many times I can touch her butt in public before she slaps me (or decides to continue less publicly...)
Fast forward to marriage, and that's what happens. This isn't to say that they're justified to do so, I was just exploring the mechanism (and I'm fortunate to be young and already know it so that I can avoid falling in the trap, though only due to prior dating experience that followed exactly the same pattern).
I believe the "image" side of the equation can be considered true for some ENTJs (enneagram 3s?), meaningless for others (enneagram 8s?).
Could I imagine myself cheating? Not anymore, but if I was as inexperienced as when I started dating girls, I would have very likely been caught in an unfulfilling relationship. "Caught" isn't even the right verb, given that the choice was purposeful, voluntary, and conscious.
Would I tell it to my spouse? First of all, even if I were to cheat, I would never ever develop an "affair" with another party. This unless the marriage was completely fake to begin with. In any case, the reason why I wouldn't be open about it would be the kids, if we had any. Otherwise, I would definitely be open.
Dated an ENTJ before, and while being with him was fun, you do realise at the back of your head, he's constantly evaluating what he can get from you, and what he can get away with, and he gives accordingly. i.e. he sees you for what value he can get. While he may not be representative of all ENTJs;
Yeah, I constantly think how many kisses I can get from a girl I'm going out with, and how many times I can touch her butt in public before she slaps me (or decides to continue less publicly...)