Moiety
New member
- Joined
- Aug 3, 2008
- Messages
- 5,996
- MBTI Type
- ISFJ
did it feel like a really odd INFJ?
I'm not sure I understand your question. You mean my ISTJy period?
did it feel like a really odd INFJ?
I find that when under stress/the blues I tend to drain the people around me. I'll need to talk that junk out pretty much constantly until it's resolved. And I don't know for sure, but I can imagine, that tendency taxes people.
It's kind of sad that a feeling type can't be forthright about their emotions unless they decide on whatever odd merit-based system that you've earned their honesty.
Ok, so I know alot about the unhealthy INFP, but not that much about what an unhealthy ENFP would look like or behave under extreme stress.
I'm looking for some ENFPs to describe how they act when they are feeling stressed to see whether it matches with how I behave.
Also, other ENFP's, do you repress anger, if so how to you repress it?
It's like I feel I match the infp and the enfp profile, but only a few bits out of each. I'm wondering if I can narrow it down by looking at the unhealthy behaviour of both and see if I am prehaps an unhealthy version of one or the other.
YES! I ended a friendship with an ENFP who was not a close friend per say in the amount of time we spend together but when we did hang out I felt deep sharing and connection and a lack of judgement in her advice and care. But when she hit a depression I felt so overwhelmed by her draining me and getting hurt when I couldn't handle the sheer force she threw her emotions/needy crying at me and others. Just about wanted to tell her STOP and take care of yourself because you are going to shipwreck me!
Unhealthy condition-Preponderance of Ne.
1) Divorced from reality- When the dominant function is preponderant, the inferior is supressed the most. In this case it is sensing. The ENFP as a result looses track of what is going on in the real world in order to focus on imagination.
2)Very scattered- Since Thinking is the third function, it is also heavily supressed. This prevents the person in question for organizing their life in a logical order. They follow from hunch to hunch without understanding what the hunches are or what they lead to.
3) Impulsive and unreflective- The predominance of extroversion leads the ENFP to merely act on whim. Supression of Thinking and Sensing allows them to believe in many absurdities. As a result they often have many unrealistic views which they, as extroverts, feel compelled to act on.
4)Insincere- As an Extroverted Feeling type, the ENFP tends to rely heavily on approval of others. Since the person in question acts on whim, he or she will go far to receive their approval even if that means being untrue to oneself. This usually consists in presenting a fake image of oneself in order to appear more likable to others. Often not realizing that he or she is being untrue to him or herself.
Hmmmm I'm beginning to seriously dislike this "healthy/unhealthy" mumbo jumbo.
Hey SW,
I promise I will come and study this thread in much more depth as I think much of this is very valuable. However you did not mention overuse of Tert Te, only underuse. Also what some of this actually looks like from the inside could use a bit of tweaking with respect to motive/intent/conscious application of the above.
thanks for writing it and putting time into it as it is really insightful.
See, this is a nice example for fuelling the occasional (unhealthy or realistic?) misanthropy I've heard a few ENFPs express. Thanks for being so honest, even at the risk of putting yourself in a less flattering light.
For me, this is an old and painful fear: that people will only care for the happy expression of me, not the down&blue one. I'm aware my enthusiasm can be judged 'too much' when I forget myself and everything around me to share something I care for. But I fear that my depressed times will be even more unacceptable to others. So I have made a habit of monitoring and censoring myself in either direction in order to avoid being judged as 'too much' and rejected. (The rejection is especially painful because the 'too much'-behaviour is often displayed when we trust, relax and let go of the censorship.)
Thus, the fear: that "friends", people we begin to like and give a piece of ourselves to, don't really care for us, but will only stick around as long as they can benefit from the enthusiast, accepting and empathic aspects of us. We give connection, attention and don't judge. We share our warmth. We care. But deep inside might doubt if others would care too when we are not so giving, when we are down and needing support.
Fearing to be unlovable when down, results could be:
- Sticking to bad relationships because we think we haven't given enough yet or that we perhaps will never be loved again.
- Appearing to be insincere, struggling to appear strong not to be judged and rejected by "friends" who can't cope.
- Tending towards impulsivity, trying to regain the intensity of the new.
- Seeking isolation until we feel a bit better, hiding in shame when we doubt if people can handle our shortcomings.
I know that I've been guilty of all of the above in periods of stress or depression.
SolitaryWalker, I'm curious as to how an unhealthy ENFP could become healthy if given that the external circumstances leading to the unhealthiness do not change?
I'm guessing that the best way to do that would be to develop Te -- which bolsters Fi and gives it an intellectual foundation. Or it could be to develop Si and use the material world to anchor down the Ne. What do you think?
"ENFPs can be very pleasant, and you can have fun with them, but they generally give the impression that they're rarely- if ever- truly happy.
When an ENFP is offended it's often by the straw that broke the camel's back. We're not just offended by the one thing, we're offended by a pattern of behaviour. One thing is easy to forgive. The same thing a hundred times is not quite as easy.
Unfortunately, you won't often hear about the hundred other times until the back has already broken.
or my passport at such times as these!
haha, you know, I actually never leave home without my passport, or my kids ones. I know it's probably not the best of ideas, but I've never lost them, and it matters to me to know that I could up and leave on a whim no matter where I am.