My mom is an ISFP and I'm an INTP.
I always felt like I was responsible for 'helping' her due to her emotionality. My lack of emotional response both frustrated her, and caused her to think I was okay in certain situations, when I most definitely was not 'ok'. Our different types of intensity definitely caused some clashes over the years.
For the most part - we shared some similiar interests and really enjoy each other's company. Now that I am an adult - we are a great team - although I don't always trust her conclusions as her needs are different from my own. My absent mindedness was a source of conflict - and I was lost when I moved out, as I drowned in the mundane daily tasks that were invisible prior due to her ocd and incredible organizational skills. I never did recover completely!
It helped that my younger brother is entp - as it gave both my parents another shot at a similiar personality type - so they 'got' that it WAS personality type and not just moral failure (lazy, procrastinator, slob) which was my stepfather's conclusion - not my mother's. I think enough of those skills did wear off on me to keep me more balanced, but when kids came into my picture - and 2/3 are more like me - I couldn't keep up. With just me - or one or two others, I tend to do just fine. Three boys and a hubby and I was completely overwhelmed.
Example: Boy, aged 8 - 'Mom! Where are my shoes?' Mom (me) incredulous look with an eyebrow raised, "How the heck should I know, where are MY shoes?" (mainly to give an example to said boy of the absurdity of his request, since obviously he has NO investment in knowing where mom's shoes are.....) Course, I do take my boys to late showings of movies, and stay up and discuss things late at night (always the time when they are 'ready' to talk). Really, really hoping these things balance out in the end......
I always felt like I was responsible for 'helping' her due to her emotionality. My lack of emotional response both frustrated her, and caused her to think I was okay in certain situations, when I most definitely was not 'ok'. Our different types of intensity definitely caused some clashes over the years.
For the most part - we shared some similiar interests and really enjoy each other's company. Now that I am an adult - we are a great team - although I don't always trust her conclusions as her needs are different from my own. My absent mindedness was a source of conflict - and I was lost when I moved out, as I drowned in the mundane daily tasks that were invisible prior due to her ocd and incredible organizational skills. I never did recover completely!
It helped that my younger brother is entp - as it gave both my parents another shot at a similiar personality type - so they 'got' that it WAS personality type and not just moral failure (lazy, procrastinator, slob) which was my stepfather's conclusion - not my mother's. I think enough of those skills did wear off on me to keep me more balanced, but when kids came into my picture - and 2/3 are more like me - I couldn't keep up. With just me - or one or two others, I tend to do just fine. Three boys and a hubby and I was completely overwhelmed.
Example: Boy, aged 8 - 'Mom! Where are my shoes?' Mom (me) incredulous look with an eyebrow raised, "How the heck should I know, where are MY shoes?" (mainly to give an example to said boy of the absurdity of his request, since obviously he has NO investment in knowing where mom's shoes are.....) Course, I do take my boys to late showings of movies, and stay up and discuss things late at night (always the time when they are 'ready' to talk). Really, really hoping these things balance out in the end......