I'm leaning towards the possibility that I'm a 9w8 sx now, and I'm female. I've always thought 4w5, but it's more the idealized version of me than the real me. What I really relate to-
Sexual nines can have an intensity that often makes them look fourish. They have the passionate desire to merge with another and can idealize potential partners. They tend to merge with the other readily, losing themselves in relationships and fascination. Nines tendency towards fantasizing can take the role of fantasizing about potential relationships, although being basically indecisive and withdrawn, they tend to stay fantasizing and will avoid any direct action in pursuit of the fantasized object. They can be incredibly shy. When in a relationship, they often suffer from a loss of identity, because they become so absorbed in the other person.
I do this way too much. It's not just relationships, though- it can be musicians, film directors, writers that I identify with or wish I was more like- those with more 4w5 tendencies. Then I find myself merging with their personas, and then I tend to lose myself, not sure what's me, what's what I want to be, what's them. Typically, this is all in my head, not something others see much of at all. I keep it very hidden.
Oftentimes I don't feel like I have much in the way of ideas of my own, I just ride the current, hoping people won't ask me what I want to do, because I don't know. Just propose something to me and then I'll know whether it sounds good or not. I can keep going like this for a long time, and then all of a sudden I'll get all resentful that we never do what I want to do.
As far as the 8 goes, I see that come out when I engage in sports especially. I can become incredibly aggressive and competitive. It always surprises people, because typically I am very passive, almost zen, and then out of nowhere I'm throwing the tennis racket and yelling, etc. For this reason I often avoid things which bring out this side because it takes me by surprise, too, and I don't know how to deal with it. I don't like to feel stress or anxiety. For this reason I am a bit of a hermit. I see very little of the one in me, but it, like the eight, can spring up out of nowhere- I can get a little self-righteous and overly principled, which shocks me even more than the eight, because typically I am about as non-judgmental and accepting as you can get.
Also, I oscillate between being conciliatory and complacent and rebellious and assertive.
No one would ever take me for a 2 or 6. I think I often present as a four or a five, sometimes a seven. I think many would see 9 as being too milque-toasty to be me, but those who would think that are fours and fives and sevens, and when I'm with them I behave more like that. I often feel like a shape-shifter, like some sort of transmutable substance.