An INTP I know once told me he wished he felt more/was more comfortable with himself in different situations. I guess he was talking about social situations.
I told him he was taking himself way too seriously.
Then I told him to get over himself.
Probably the right answer, but probably not really effective.
Seems like you guys create your own hell so...
That's the truth. I've had people tell me that on numerous occasions -- "You're just never happy no matter what you have or what you're doing."
I still haven't quite figured out what it is. It's like the whole picture is off somehow, and even if you have a 33% full life compared to a 62% full life, it's still missing a large chunk of picture and things aren't right... and it's hard to even discern even what exactly is missing.
Some of it probably comes from holding feelings away, and a lot of contentment I am learning comes from allowing myself to be immersed in feeling states and experiencing life and being in sync with it, rather than apart, and otherwise engaged. The "stand back, aloof" instinctive response of INTPs help contribute to the perpetual ennui.
I've heard INTPs whine about their lives, even the ones that have pretty good lives; job, partner, stable life (financially, apartment), hobbies, friends ect. And they still got into these emo-states where nothing's good enough, like they're still missing something. Those times, I've just asked them: What the hell are you whining about? And they laugh.
Things just aren't right.
At least I can admit it now -- accept the good stuff and try to take pleasure in it, but there's just that stupid deep-seated discomfort that won't go away. Routine feels comfortable and safe but also seems boring and dead. It's like all the natural INTP strategies for dealing with the world physically contribute to a mental and emotional dissatisfaction. The mind is only happy when it's constantly being challenged and taught, but the drive to stabilize life and make physical needs secure and stable automatically reduces opportunities for the curiosity factor for explore... and lots of the realities of life again inhibit the mental absorption demanded by insatiable curiosity.
At the end of the day, it seems like they take themselves way too seriously, cause I've noticed that at times when they don't, they can't actually resist to be happy.
Getting lost in the moment and not thinking but simply responding to and being immersed in life brings the most happiness.
It's why I drink sometimes too. It shuts off my brain. I stop holding myself away from life, I stop thinking, I just start living.
... let's not talk about love lifes.