I've been pondering lately about the way people prefer to communicate with others. There are styles that exist regardless of Extraversion/Introversion. I have noticed that some types prefer group talk, some types prefer one on one talk, others prefer simply making one liners and jokes,... I can see this sort of behavior on the forum too.
I was having dinner at some friends' place yesterday with my gf. We had a good time and they are great fun. They are very good socially but we both agreed that it is impossible to have an actual conversation with some of them. They seem akward, impatient, ill at ease, and preferring to keep things "light".
This made me think: "How often do I have the opportunity to really discuss something with someone? Less and less". The opportunities are scarce. At work, everyone wants to keep things simple. And even when it happens, I think surprisingly few people are good conversationalists. They just talk about themselves, serve you predefined opinions, switch topics too early, and don't bother to ask questions and to keep things open. The best conversationalists listen alot and ask many questions. My theory is that it is partly related to the security that people have in being intimate with others and showing themselves as they are. Keeping things light is like maintaining a distance with others, making sure things go well and conflict is avoided.
One of the reasons I get along so well with my gf (ISFJ) is that we can have long conversations about everything and nothing.
Ideas? Opinions? Conversation?
I was having dinner at some friends' place yesterday with my gf. We had a good time and they are great fun. They are very good socially but we both agreed that it is impossible to have an actual conversation with some of them. They seem akward, impatient, ill at ease, and preferring to keep things "light".
This made me think: "How often do I have the opportunity to really discuss something with someone? Less and less". The opportunities are scarce. At work, everyone wants to keep things simple. And even when it happens, I think surprisingly few people are good conversationalists. They just talk about themselves, serve you predefined opinions, switch topics too early, and don't bother to ask questions and to keep things open. The best conversationalists listen alot and ask many questions. My theory is that it is partly related to the security that people have in being intimate with others and showing themselves as they are. Keeping things light is like maintaining a distance with others, making sure things go well and conflict is avoided.
One of the reasons I get along so well with my gf (ISFJ) is that we can have long conversations about everything and nothing.
Ideas? Opinions? Conversation?