Is it true that we, as a species, as human beings are inherently cooperative or competitive by nature?
As a child I loathed competition with others, I did, however, deeply enjoy competing with myself as well as engaging in "friendly competition", through competition we grow, stretch our capacities.
I have always tilted in favor of human beings being *ultimately* cooperative via competition, as in, though we might kill each other, and act selfish, the ends, when they benefit mankind as a whole, justify the means.
I digress, in fact this whole post is a digression, so I apologize in advance.
There was one value that I held onto tightly my entire life, one belief, that being that Love, true love conquers all.
That Love saves our miserable souls, that Love acts as the bridge to the existential chasms we're trapped and isolated in, that Love defeats one of human beings' strongest, and at many times, malignant force, that of being Selfish.
At the age of 23, I remember, that last tendril of Hope died.
That thing which I clung to so desperately, that thing that made both day to day, and historical deplorable realities bearable was suddenly gone.
I was in my car, outside a bar, when this epiphany came to me, and I wrote in my journal.
"Why am I not enough?"
But, these are my own Truths, this is my own reality, and thus far, I have chosen to live, and hence have had to make great strides in constantly overcoming setbacks, those setbacks not necessarily being catalyzed by my paradigms being stripped but rather by their being circumstantially non-existent.
I do not want to live a miserable life.
And, though misery must be dealt with, if I continue to choose to live, I must endure the suffering of momentary and often momentous suffering in order to, perhaps ignorantly, one might say, find the beauty I once saw, knew and felt.
My truth(s) have been raped and invalidated time and time again, but I am still here, and I still believe in them.
If I don't believe in anything, then I would be consumed by apathy, a fate worse than death.
Call me delusional, I don't care.
One life to live, better make it worthwhile.