lauragracie515
New member
- Joined
- Nov 5, 2018
- Messages
- 1
Hey, I don't know if anyone will respond to this, but I feel like I'm going crazy so I wanted to see if anyone can relate to this or give advice on how they got through it. I'm an ENFP with an ISTJ father and ESFJ mother. I can at least get along with my dad on the surface level, even though we view life very differently. We can go places together and it's usually not an overwhelming experience. I can't say the same for my ESFJ mother. My older sister endured epileptic seizures , surgeries, and other health struggles at a young age. Dealing with my mom on top of this made me feel like i had almost no control in my life. While I wrote fictional stories and poetry and started songwriting at a very young age - it didn't matter to her. All that seemed to matter was having a clean house and me looking nice. I always longed for a deep relationship with my parents - and to them this IS deep. They really believe that simply driving me places and making me food equates to a loving and deep relationship . I on the other hand, long for heart to heart conversations or any moments of empathy. When I try to say this, my mom takes extreme offense, throwing objects, yelling, and claiming I'm calling her a " bad mother." She'll then stop talking to me for weeks at a time being still offended. She's done this since I was around 10 and it's drained so much energy out of me. Enfps are filled with imagination and depth, yet I find myself constantly anxious and restless due to not measuring up to my mom's perfectionism and rigid rules, along with the way it seems like she's used guilt manipulation to stifle any of our feelings that she doesn't like. I'm 17 now and i really feel like I'm running out of ideas on how to make this work . I may just have to distance myself from her to get through it, for I feel as though she isn't seeking to see me for who I am.