thoughtlost
Honeyed Water
- Joined
- May 20, 2013
- Messages
- 745
- Enneagram
- N/A
I found this on PerC and I wanted to see if other 9s can relate to this (if other types relate to this too, please let me know). There wasn't a lot of responses on the thread I found it in.
http://www.enneagraminstitute.com/forum/topic.asp?TOPIC_ID=25227&whichpage=1#.UhDyLZJReSo
Here are some exerpts or something that I found interesting.
...Sure, I think this guy was on shrooms and weed... but hey, you never know. It could be us out =P
And I kind of liked this part a lot...
http://www.enneagraminstitute.com/forum/topic.asp?TOPIC_ID=25227&whichpage=1#.UhDyLZJReSo
Here are some exerpts or something that I found interesting.
...Sure, I think this guy was on shrooms and weed... but hey, you never know. It could be us out =P
I've come to the realization that I'm a particular kind of 9 that is not described at all in the literature, which I have given the term "counter-slothic nine." It is exactly as you described. Counter-slothic 9s focus so much on being aware, and fear not being aware of themselves, that they over-indulge in introspection to the point that they actually become asleep to themselves and living their lives. Introspection becomes a substitute for actually living their lives and showing up and drawing attention to themselves.
And I kind of liked this part a lot...
Another element of sloth is that I've maintained an extremely strong connection to the essential realm. I've had deep imitations of the ultimate nature of reality, and the experience on mushrooms revealed to me the ultimate truth of existence, the boundless dimensions, non-duality, quintessence, and the fundamental suchness, oneness, unity, and interconnectivity of the universe. Even though I have these incredibly deep insight into true nature, I'm too lazy to actually live according to my truth. Perhaps this is because I have to fundamentally confront my lack of having a pearl.... the identification that I am not a human being, I am not my body, I am not this existence. I have to confront the nullity of who I am and my entire life, and I'm fundamentally too attached to sex and food and music and movies and video games to realize my true nature. I would prefer to live this relatively comfortable life than to have to face the ultimate pain at the core of my ego. This is a state of complete and utter deficiency - that my soul itself is not good enough to deserve to exist. I don't deserve to be human, I'm not good enough to exist. It is like being the ugliest most wretched being in the universe, with a complete lack of value.