How do you manage to chose presents for people?
Quite often they have no clear hobby or interest, the typical socks purchase is just out and I have a nagging feeling that I want to get it right. It's important to me that it means something to them. Usually I beat myself up whilst trying to think of that one gift that they would like but not think of getting themselves. It's gotten to the point where I have two nephews and a brother in law waiting for some sign that I recall their existence and yet I'm still sat there trying to think of the perfect solution.
Anyhow I figured that asking you lot may reveal some secret I've missed in my NT survival guide.
A long shot but at this point, so close to the season of terror, I'm open to any and all suggestions...
I have seen it done, but I am not one of those who is good at choosing presents.
In another thread this week someone was saying it was - oh dear I forget which it was - it was either Fe or Fi that causes us to care about what is important to other people.
Okay. Here it is:
Just to let you all know: being nice to people and/or relating to them in social situations does not have to come from Fe. Fi can do the trick through an extroverted function.
Fi doesn't only care about the user. It cares about the things that are important to the user.
It's Fi.
Anyhow,
every October, I begin to dread Christmas for this very reason... because it will prove to people what a horribly inadequate person I am when it comes to buying presents for them. I have over 20 people to buy presents for and it fills me with such dread, I can't wait until Christmas is over. If I didn't have to buy presents, I would otherwise enjoy it immensely.
Nnnh. You can try convincing someone closer to them to ask what they would like in a subtle way?
Anyway you don't need NTs here. You need Fe advice.
I agree with this. You've opened this thread in a wrong place.
Actually, I would beg to differ with you both and I will tell you why.
In my early years as a mother, I had a lot of difficulties. Invariably, the best advice I received on how to overcome my problems was NOT from those for whom it came easy. If I wanted REAL HELP for my problem, I had to find someone else who struggled with it too, and learn what they did to overcome it. I have found this to be a useful principle in life. Those who did not struggle in the same area I did, usually could not put into helpful terms what it was they were doing that was making them successful. It came too naturally to them.
I opened this thread here to find out how NTs get over the whole presents panic. I've already had the lectures from SFs, NFs and so forth. I'm surrounded by them!!
Besides the standard NF present usually doesn't come up to my standards that I hold myself to. The only person to really hit the button bang on was my ISTJ friend (this is in recent recollection).
As for something practical, if only my friends and family were practical. There's only me and my father who are NTs. I know two STs and one's easy to buy for the other, a female, is a pain. After that it's pretty much all NFs. And NFs without specific hobbies that they haven't already indulged themselves in and bought everything they want for!
Well, I shall at least give you what I know so far...
- I have begun to make note of what people are interested in.
- And, as all else has failed, in the last few years, I have begun to come right out and ask people what they want.
That can make it difficult because then there's the question of the budget. Last year I asked my father's missus what he wanted and I ended up spending over $100 on his present! That's not very much to most people, but my budget for him was $50. And like I said before, I have 20 people to buy for.
My father is one of those who has all the money he wants and never has need.
I used to feel badly about myself for not knowing what other people like and want, but then I realized, I don't even know what
I like or want!
btw: you have a secret weapon in your arsenal - your missus - I bet she's a great gift picker-outer!
...
The perishables idea, that could work. I'm resistant to it however. Personally I rarely buy anything perishable that costs more than absolutely necessary as I kinda figure it's the fastest way to chew through your money and have nothing left to show for it.
....
Just a comment on this... I feel the same way as you do about it, but some people would treasure the experience long after the gift was gone.
A woman I know who I believe to be SP received tickets from her husband to go to a show. She went on and on describing the experience to me, and how she would never forget it. Another woman described something similar to me. So I am gathering evidence that perhaps - at least to some people - a gift that is
experienced instead of
kept or
used is also a good thing.