As an ENTJ-influenced ENTP who finds himself in charge of lots of people quite often along with his ENTJ colleagues, we often seem to find ourselves being put up against the wall and shot by the 'nice squad' for daring to think that, as the boss, it might just be part of our job to tell people to do things.
Ha! No, no, no, what were we thinking! We have to ASK people, of course! I mean, what kind of moron thinks that just because he has a billion things to coordinate and dozens of deadlines, and just because he has a load of underlings who seem to prefer to scratch their arses and play WoW all day while people are waiting for them to communicate something, that he has a right to occasionally give the staff a gentle, yet well-deserved bollocking without them bursting into tears and quitting?
And what, I mean what people, kind of leader can REALLY function in an environment where people are constantly threatening to quit over the omission of a 'please' or 'thank you'?
Trouble is that leadership requires Te, and Te and democracy just don't get along. They're mutually exclusive, IMO. But it seems every damn office has to be a democratic commune these days ffs...
Can people please tell me just exactly how they expect a guy to get anything done whilst constantly stopping to consult everyone as to their job satisfaction, whether they feel they have 'ownership' of the projects they're involved in, and when you're not allowed to simply take it as read that something being part of someone's job description means they're sorta duty bound to do it, without you having to consult them to see if they mind every time before you tell them to do it?
People have a reaction to authority, some people despise it, some people naturally obey it, most are somewhere between the two extremes, it's using your authority effectively that you have to master in my opinion, and even for someone good at coordinating that is a learned skill, it doesn't come naturally for most.
I have ran groups, organizations, clubs, technical teams, programming teams, open source programming teams, forums, technical teams, and two IRC networks, among other things. (Not to brag, just citing my experiences, ymmv if you are in another area).
I use an escalating tiered system...
1) Ask nicely
2) Take them aside and explain why it is important, make sure they're alright
3) Give them a firm order that has no malice
4) Give them a firm order with threat of retribution
5) Fire them, revoke their power, kick them off the team, whatever.
Consistency is important. If people know what to expect from you it's easier for them to adjust themselves. Over time you'll learn what people need to motivate them. Most people will obey you with (1) if they respect your authority, with sometimes falling to (2) if they're feeling bad. Some people always need to feel they're important and need (2), these people generally should be tolerated if they're good at what they do, but not in an extreme. IE: use (2) once a week, use (3) the rest of the time an expect them to just do their job, you validate them and don't spend all your time coddling them. Some people consistently need firm orders or they won't work, they don't care about other people but have an intrinsic fear of authority. Some people need (4) because they don't fear authority but need to be reminded that authority has something they need. Some people are not fit to be part of your team. Fire them.
These are my opinions.
Edit: Another thing - nicely is subjective. Generally I don't use "Please" and "thank you", I express gratitude towards my people for extra work through other means, often this is rewards or just thanking them all at once in a massive way. As long as there is an understanding that you are asking them nicely between yourself and them, the word "please" shouldn't be necessary. In my case, most of my ask nicely things are stated as orders, but generally everyone who is on my team understands if they disagree or have an opinion in most cases I welcome them to speak up, it's just easier to say "Do this" than "Do this please, unless you have an objection or better idea, in which case please bring it up and as long as this isn't an urgent matter we can discuss it *hug*".
Edit 2: Also, I have no issues working with Fs, I just try to spend a little bit of time every once in awhile petting their emotions and letting them know they're valued, as well as when they first start making sure they understand that when I give orders nicely I don't mean to be curt, I just am usually in a hurry, once they understand this and we have developed at least a slight rapport they generally are more willing and some of the best workers since they know you appreciate them.