Coeur
New member
- Joined
- Jul 13, 2009
- Messages
- 237
- MBTI Type
- INFP
- Enneagram
- 4w5
Does is hurt more if your loved one just explodes in your presence or when they just become hostile without even raising their voice ?
The worst would having them be so mad, that they're acting out of character. When people are angry at me, I'm hurt period.
I'd rather have them explode so that we can face the issue directly. I would probably feel more overwhelmed from the vibe of hidden anger than the explosion of obvious anger. The obvious anger would seem less deep to me, for whatever reason, as long as it was intended to express displeasure, and not to belittle me. Communication is really important to me.
I would respond to it:
a. calmly/unemotionally to get them to calm down
b. defensively, if I thought it was unjustified [which, in the scenario you gave, it would not be]
c. and I might walk away if it wasn't going anywhere
At the same time, when people get VIOLENTLY angry, it has a very toxic affect on me. Seeing someone slam their fist into the wall has the same affect on me as if they punched me. Yelling upsets me a lot. It is not good for me to be exposed to violent rage. It scares me and makes me withdraw into myself. I'm much appreciative of people who can express their emotions fully without hurting me.