6) NF: Abstract / SJ: Concrete
This created a HUGE conversational gap. We could not hold a conversation to save our lives. <crickets chirping> I experienced absolutely ZERO intellectual stimulation. I would say something and she would stay quiet. Some might mistake this for her being a "good listener." But I say NO. She never gave any feedback or contributed to the conversation - she didn't participate or add to what was being said. I was BORED to tears. She never had anything interesting, thought provoking, or engaging to say. The two times of year she did I got all excited and wrote it in my journal to cling to. When she did speak it was stuff like "we need to pay this bill, the trash needs to be taken out, etc."
This scares me.
My boyfriend is ISFJ. He is the kindest, most thoughtful person. He tells me repeatedly that his goal is to make me happy. And I am. But there is the communication problem..and it concerns me.
If he has something that is important to him that he wants to talk about, then he can. He can tell me his concerns and thoughts...but only when he feels the need, which isn't often.
Most of the time he's pretty quiet and I often feel like I'm talking to myself. I also tend to miss verbal bantering...I try and then I get from him "Why is it that everytime I say something to you, you manage to turn it around somehow and send it back to me?" Ummm...I don't know, because that's fun? Because I'm hoping for you to do that back? Yeah...not happening.
Sadly, my two closest male friends are ENTJ and ENFJ. I can talk to either of them for hours at a time...but my boyfriend? Not really. I think we had a half-hour phone conversation once or twice. In person, the conversation is sporadic as well.
However, I have no doubt that he loves me. He is a good, kind, decent person. There is an enormous amount of physical attraction. He takes care of me (which I tend to need sometimes!). I am truly happier when I'm around him than when I'm not....but.....
I can't say that I'm bored, but I am concerned for the future. He's even said he's afraid he will bore me and I'll leave. I just wish there was a way we could learn to communicate better. I suspect there is a lot going on inside his mind, but I have no idea how to understand him or get him to understand me.