I am married to an ISTJ woman and it is incredibly difficut regarding communication and closeness. She rarely opens up or orients her perspective around the relationship.
My suggestion to you NF women, is thank God for NF men and lighten up a little bit. Date or marry an ST and you will come running back to an NF.
Personally, when dealing with other NF women in business or friendship, it is a breath of fresh air. Even an NT is a delight. Speaking about concepts and ideas rather than the concrete is amazing.
All NF's have the tendency to always want something better. That seems to be what I am hearing here. I can tell you I am very tough when I need to be and in business am forced to use my T abilities heavily. It is uncomfortable but necessary.
My adivce, NF's should always stick with NF's and perhaps NT's if it feels right but NEVER ST's.
Thats my two cents for what it's worth. I speak not from theory but experience. After all I am a genuine ENFJ, a human x ray machine.
I love NF men for the connection, and understanding but I often feel like I have made another female friend in mens clothing (no offence to any NF men) in that I can open up about anything and everything.
On a serious note, I just think you guys need to find somone that is capable of being a man when the need arises.
But my main problem is that I need someone to balance out my emotions. I need a rock to cling to; I would love someone that could help me be strong and give me foundation.
If you want an NF man but wish he'd flex his S & T more, simply find one who can. Older NF males should be able to better.
or it could be that all that stuff is NF's trying to get some love in a cold world. Do you know that if a NF is given enough attention and care, that they mature the fastest. Not the easiest to notice, but less work needed in the long run. Like the 80/20 rule: do you want someone who is 80% of what you always wanted, or are you going to keep hanging out with 20% people till you burn out. That seems to be the real problem with society: wanting 100% out of someone who's not perfect.
trust me, the road is narrow and ridiculously long. I had to go through an entire bookstore of self-help, psychology, philosophy, metaphysics, new age, and relationships all while keeping my sanity from too much information just to come up with these insights. Like how to make relationships really work, or how to help people no matter what their going through. Now I just need to get the message out that I'm giving away free counceling and big question answers. I should be on doctorate level with a ton of books with all of this, but with results that actually work. Oh well, guess I should just enjoy being part of the divine and having fun.
yeah it's hard to not feel like I upseted someone, or to let someone know when they upseted me. Most of my family is T type so they don't get when I try to help them. I find it better to just go with it anyway until they say something, but not take it too personally, then it seems to get through.
trust me, the road is narrow and ridiculously long. I had to go through an entire bookstore of self-help, psychology, philosophy, metaphysics, new age, and relationships all while keeping my sanity from too much information just to come up with these insights. Like how to make relationships really work, or how to help people no matter what their going through.
Then miss out on the deep romance then, because that's what were good at and all we got going for us other than caring for others. NF men are not taken seriously in society even though were trying to make it better for everyone. Besides, without us, you wouldn't have your Princes, Knights in shining armor, Seducers, and Romantics so cut us some slack for trying to make love work in the world.
I love 'em. Just totally love 'em.
It's like instant recognition of a soulmate.
But in RL I keep my distance because they wear me out.
I'm not repulsed by types, but by individuals. NFs, male and female alike, who are irrational and immature, bug me. But I could definitely, definitely get along - even fall in love with - an NF male who had a strong rational and independent side. And I'm sure there are quite a few of them out there, actually.