I think that what makes NF-NF attraction difficult (at least for me) is that you, as a values-oriented individual, are dealing with another values-oriented individual (relatively speaking), and that leaves lots of room for vehement disagreement.
That's not the source of my annoyance. I'm referring to being grateful for that level of understanding and appreciation, but wishing the male NF was better at flexing their S or T muscles more often.
An example, but not an exclusive one, is that one of my long time S.O.s is an INFP and between the two of us I was always
faaaaaaaaar more capable of putting on my ExTJ business suit (this could be related to my years of retail management) and getting shit
done. Whether it be long/short-term goal achievement, task details, putting on a poker face for the world, acting as a pillar of strength for the other during hard times, making choices based on logic rather than feeling, dealing firmly with unsavory outsiders etc... In fact, my ability to consistently perform in the areas I struggled most with and his complete failure to do so at most junctures resulted in a great deal of resentment on my end and the resultant rupture between us.
I can't believe that INFJs hold the NF monopoly on being able to demonstrate their inferior abilities when the need arises... or is my belief wrong? Arguably that magic little J could force NFs to cover all kinds of unimaginable terrain for the sake of accomplishing something important, but really... personally, my J is rather weak. Surely the stubborn worldviews of an INFP (for example) could accomplish the same amazing feats... right?
Anyhow, that covers new ground. I suppose my personal experiences may have painted an inaccurate portrait of the tendencies and capabilities of NF males, but it's a hard view to shake. The end result is a (possibly flawed?) assumption that NF females are better at playing tough girl than NF males are at playing tough guy... at least
with each other.