I don't know...I just feel like someone who doesn't really love you can use words of affirmation and physical touch to create the illusion they love you, but if they really love you, it comes in more through service and quality time. Love is action. Does anybody understand this?
I can see how quality time, words of affirmation, and physical touch can be empty.
But so can gift-giving and acts of service.
I agree that "Love is action", but all of these
are actions aren't they?
Speaking words of affirmation,
Spending quality time together,
Touching----these are all clearly
verbs, my man! ---
Action words!
Different people will value different actions more than others.
It just comes down to which ones mean more to you personally.
In fact, in a long-term, committed relationship, it's very important not to assume that your partner cherishes exactly the same things you do.
Sometimes couples do speak the same "Love Language", and so they have very little difficulty meeting each other's needs.
But if you know what your partner's "Love Language" is --- even if it's very different from yours -- you will know what is most meaningful to your partner, and will , therefore, be better able to meet their needs.
You will also be able to understand them, rather than feel bad about it, when they fail to meet your needs.
Let me give you a practical example:
Let's say you personally value Gifts and Acts of service more than the other options.
Can you imagine if you lavished Gifts and Acts of service on your partner for years, only to find out that those things meant less to her than Physical touch, Words of Affirmation and Quality time?
Now if she knew that you valued Gifts and Acts of service more than the other things, she could say to herself, "Well, I know that his
intentions were good, because he
thought I valued the same things he did."
But if you had known what
she valued most, you would have been able to give her what
she actually wanted.
So, you see---Love
is action---but the idea is to know which action is going to please your
partner the most.