Well, damn. My ISTP & I have had arguments about this (god, isn't that stupid), where he just keeps telling me I'm wrong when I say he wants a play mate and I want a soul mate. I've even used the word "companion" before and he gets so offended like I'm calling him shallow. Why on Earth would he deny it? It usually comes up when I am talking about how we 'want what we want' and can't really change that. I guess he feels I'm being judgmental so he wants me to be wrong regardless of what I'm saying? I truly have always felt that he wants a sort of sidekick. Someone totally into him but independent enough that he was always third on their list of priorities (after his passions & his identity). Like he just wants someone to do what they want, like he does, but really close to him. I want someone to be "with me." I want our lives to be two things but coming together in places so they are revolving around the both of us together. That is not his way of looking at it. I hate that idea I get of him, like this James Bond vibe where the 'love of his life' has to have so much of her 'own thing' that she could just up and leave him at any time, because he's that way, and things have to be 'fair.' Believe it or not, to me, it seems unrealistic, because I feel like 'one foot out' or 'all in' are both a choice. He seems to claim 'all in', but that's not, in reality, the choice he's making day by day. If I'm looking at this all wrong, chime in.