ISTJs, especially older ISTJs, how strong is your Fi and how important of a role does it play in deciding your goals?
One more question (and I'm sorry if it's a repeat!). What do ISTJs think of ISFJs?
I'm still developing my Fi....I think. Or I'm still in the process of understanding its impact on my life.
I think my reliance on Si-Te for the majority of my life has resulted in me relying on it in most situations.
Recently, I've had some pretty profound revelations in my life. Seriously, This year has been a struggle. I broke up with my girlfriend in January. While I was disappointed that it didn't work out, I felt relieved. I mean, it felt good that we weren't together. That messed with my head for a minute, until I figured that the whole time we weren't working, but I was ignoring my Fi. Si-Te was saying "Everything you've put your mind to has worked! This will too!", and I stuck with it. All the while, my Fi was telling me that 'She's a great girl, but not for you!"
I remember when I was playing ball and that hit me- I mean it hit me like a ton of bricks. The answer was to break up with her......I was so shook up by it, that I couldn't concentrate for the rest of the game LOL. Again I tried to suppress it, but within a few more weeks we were broken up.
Secondly, I realized that while I am able to do the work I'm doing, I don't enjoy it. As much as I'm able to do audit- it sucks. I can get into details, but I don't enjoy the type of details we have to chase. Before I figured that out, I was miserable here at work. Si-Te told me that I was successful at my old job in audit, so this one should be a breeze. But I wasn't doing well, Not because I couldn't, but because I had no desire to put the effort into it. Fi was telling me that, but again I ignored her
(For some reason I assign them genders -Fe, Fi, and Se are female; Ne, Ni and Si are masculine). Don't ask
Once I figured that out, I was miserable until I talked to my boss about it. It was like I couldn't fake it anymore. I felt vulnerable as ever, but he actually understood.
So that has taught me that I can't ignore my feelings- my values. They are very strong, and I cannot stifle them in the name of Si-Te.
I also do a lot a lot of public speaking. I was told recently that I am a very
informative speaker, but lack feeling and am not connecting much with my female listeners, and some of the more feelings based men I guess. Since that's an important aspect in the message, it's important to have it. So I have to allow my Fi to influence what's shown on the outside.
2) I know a few ISFJs. My mom is one. She hasn't been tested, but she fits the type. She was very black in white in a lot of situations, things you should and should not do. I used to follow her advice without question, but as I got older I found some of it to be very paranoid. Understanding MBTI helped me understand her view on things better. She can be very judgemental sometimes. But that's my mom- she birthed me and took care of me and helped me be the fine man I am today LOL. So she can give her 2 cents. I'll consider it, but won't live and die by it.
A good friend of mines is an ISFJ. A dude. I've discussed him in a few threads on here. He's a nice guy, but is very rigid in a lot of matters. He's the guy who tells me I'm cold on stage. LOL. We get a long, but I think my Te and his Fe clash- in terms of how we handle situations. It's funny but sometimes he'll get hurt. Like the time he told me he loved me............he was actually not going to talk to me anymore because I didn't say it back. Dude I'm not your wife LOL. Chill.