I sometimes find them a little hot and cold with friends. Like lots of pursuing for awhile, then suddenly nothing. It feels fickle, although I don't think it is intended or experienced in that way by them.
If I don't have a "real" relationship with you [where I open up to you on a regular basis and can be completely myself], I'm more likely to get distracted and disappear for awhile. At the same time, I like people to come to me once in awhile. Sometimes I distance myself on purpose to see if they will come to me, if I'm always the one initiating.
As discussed in the INFJ thread, I also find that Fi types are less likely to state openly what is going on with them (whether the factors are external or internal) and yet will stick around and let their moods be felt in a prickly kind of a way.
Agreed, unless I NEED to vent about it and then you will hear about it. This also links in with the wanting people to come to me thing, though: I want you to ask how I'm doing if you notice that I'm upset.
Outwardly they seem easier going than me and much more willing to live and let live. However, I'm never sure when I'm suddenly going to run into a brick wall or when the pointy quills will come out.
This happens when you step on a value, however small. We react harshly because we assume that you should /know/ that whatever you did is offensive. We assume that because it is obvious to us, it should be obvious to you. Just ask the person to be more often when you unintentionally offend them.
Well, my issues with them are likely because we are too alike in that "draw a line in the sand" type of mentality. So, if we are on the same side of an issue,. then we can turn this mutha out, but if we are on opposite sides, then we will turn on each other with equal fury, because neither of us is going to back down.
If you will never reach agreement, don't argue about it. It seems pointless, in my opinion.
The being true to themselves sometimes trumps doing what is needed in a friendship. I don't think people should be hypocritical, but I also don't understand why they can't temporarily make adjustments as long as it isn't a constant thing.
Personal values > friendships. I compromise for little stuff, of course, but if big issues need to be compromised, I won't. If I do, I will be completely dissatisfied.
I happen to know that I appear cold and uncaring, "bad attitude" on the outside until people get to know me, if they take the time to get to know me and if I am willing to let them into my inner circle. It's very, very hard for me to extrovert emotion when I do not know people well. People think I am cold, aloof, pissed off, etc. (Conversely when I am mad and say so, they don't believe me!)
Ahh! People always misinterpret my emotions. If I'm mad, they comment about how happy I seem that day. If I'm happy, they ask me if something is wrong. I guess I'm abnormally hard to read.
As students, I don't know how you can harness all that great potential for actual accomplishment. It seems only at the moment they decide it's important will that happen, which doesn't often coincide with deadlines during the school year or at important moments when they need to be present in their thoughts.
Haha, I get this. ^___^ I always get driven during the summertime. I guess it is the contrast between moving towards an ideal, and the mundane reality that you face to actually accomplish that ideal.
I'd say that Fi folks could work on being more open with people and not having such impossible expectations.