isfj "less majic moments" lol...how well I know
- Subtle guilt trips through self-victimization
- Actively being a paragon of virtue, to use as leverage later ("If I'm perfect, then you have no excuse to be upset with me.")
- Generally passive-aggressive (occasionally downright aggressive if they feel justified or people they love are threatened)
- Self-pity/withdrawal/self-castigation
- Mentally able to block out things they don't want to address (denial and repression)
- Can keep record of wrongs easily
- Prone to wild speculation when things are forced outside the box (i.e., weak N abilities)
Those are the things I generally have experienced.
I have actual examples of these from a beloved isfj...
"subtle guilt trips"
(well, ANY kind of guilt trip has this effect upon an intp: :yim_rolling_on_the_:
:rolli:
"Please have some mercy on me...because if you only knew what I was going through ... you would understand...
(yikes)" ...hey...I never minimized what you were going through...I just asked you to stay in touch you goofball.:rolli:
"Don't be mad at me, person X is yelling at me, person Y is guilting me, person Z is dying; and I had to walk 3 miles each way just to get xyz done"
(well, Abe Lincoln had nuthin' on you...I'll write in your name on the next Presidential ballot) but for now, you are still on my Sh$%List...back to my point...you didn't send an email for 10 days,
I don't care if you were in India..."
See, an intp
sticks with the subject, relentlessly until it is resolved...regardless of the other person's discomfort...we will patiently await outside the restroom to pick it back up to finish...this doesn't work for the isfj...especially if they fear they were wrong. They want forgiveness,
we want unconditional surrender. They assume we will punish them but we won't...we will simply shrug and say, "now you know why I was mad, don't let it happen again"...
"Can keep record of wrongs easily" ...
A good thing to ask the isfj is: "oh, yeah, and what else did X do?":steam: Let them answer: blah, blah, blah: "well, he has a good heart, but a,b,c and x,y,z...but it's okay" (then it get's dropped")
"prone to wild speculation"..."yeah...either that or I was kidnapped by al Qaeda...which is more likely" (which makes him laugh...showing him the odds of his guess being correct are minimal at best) (once the other side of their brain gets to hear their wacky idea...it gets dropped)
i am crazy about isfj's by the way!