Repost:
I have had a few people PM that they'd like to see this post, so I'll stop being chicken and put it back up.
I might add too I wasn't trying to read any INFJ / INFP dynamic into it; in fact, it's more about ignoring type and watching the human dynamics.
Here you go:
DISCLAIMER: This is MY opinion, my thoughts. I make NO CLAIM that they are 100% accurate. Just trying to illuminate the process of "feeling & perceiving" as we go along in the video. Seeing both of these folks in real life would likely yield more refined results.
The video opens ... I sense a dynamic at play instantly - a power imbalance and energy mismatch. Pete is slightly uncomfortable, deer in the headlights all of a sudden. I don't doubt that at this second he just wondered, "What have I gotten myself into" but he is trying to appear unruffled and go with the flow. Note the crossed legs, the Buddha legs - for him a place of comfortable repose and groundedness to draw strength from.
Vicky Jo is now not so confident as she felt a moment before the camera started. But she's working to steady her energy. (Note how she reaches out continually, touching Pete in an effort to get a reassuring response to validate her, to reassure us as viewers that they do indeed share a connection of friendship. Note too how Pete does not really respond to it, in fact I would imagine the touch itself felt almost frosty to Vicky Jo, who was looking for good energy back. And the touch probably felt awkward to Pete, who I believe prefers to keep a wider zone of personal space around himself. I sensed no direct repulsion of the touch, but no sense of appreciation or reciprocation either.) You've got work ahead of you Vicky Jo!
But I digress. The video is underway. Vicky Jo collects herself quickly, trying to focus her energy and is now projecting out towards Pete. Pete is listening and partially interpreting and also trying to peer into where she is going with her questions. I sense he's not quite sure what VJ will ask, and he's trying to listen whilst feeling a tad bit wary about where this will go.
VJ is gaining momentum now, definitely feeling her authoritativeness building. She believes herself to be the one with the more masterful communication skills, definitely she's the more animated one anyway! Note the continuation of hand gestures, the touching - she is now attempting to make that connection with Pete in order to elicit responses, to get the information she wants. You almost get a sense she'll yank it out if she has to!
From his end, Pete is pretty sure that VJ can't "pull one over on him" but he is still a tad skeptical and it shows, which may not please him to know that it's visible. I sense he is not accustomed to having to explain something that seems like such an intrinsic aspect of his being, but he is not unaware of MBTI so has an underlying confidence in that and in who he is emotionally. Nor does he really want to be on camera, but he does want to please VJ in some way by agreeing to this taping. And perhaps there's a noble purpose he's attaching in helping others to understand Fi better - so there's the pull of that wrapped up for him too.
Notice through the tape that neither Vicky Jo nor Pete really seem to connect, to understand the other. Tolerate the expression of difference, yes. Understand, no. Why? Pete is trying to defend; VJ has an agenda and she herself wants to be understood so she's not really "hearing".
Around the 7 minute mark, the tension from the beginning has eased. Vicky Jo is letting go of her energetic persona a bit and Pete is allowing more of his personality to show through, rising up to meet the energy of VJ a bit more. Vicky Jo continues to invade Pete's space with the hands. (It's a way for her to feel in control.) Thankfully though, they are more natural towards each other now, and it allows a more natural dynamic to occasionally show through. But when Vicky Jo reverts back to active listening and reflecting back what she thinks she has heard, she's not listening as well as she thinks she is. And Pete is agreeing to understanding through head nods and grunts, but he's not really paying attention and is thinking farther ahead than what she is saying, and indeed is starting to wish he could escape around minute 13. Also around minute 13 too, he's "worn down" somewhat and is letting her in more to his world, but she is still maintaining a persona that enhances his resistance to the sharing of the true self. If VJ were to "seem" more authentic to Pete here, the barriers would drop.
But that doesn't happen, so you almost get a feeling that Pete is being patient with the rest of the filming, going along, but not expecting to be understood anymore.
Minute 18 / 19 where they talk about "selfish" - here a flash of moral superiority from VJ. A sense of being proud of her selfless ways. (This is where she feels "superior" to INFP's actually - the most noticeable spot in the video, although there are others.) Interestingly Pete is not picking up on or reacting to any perceived reproach through her choice of words and gestures. Clearly, keeping energy for himself is a strongly held value and she isn't shaking that tree.
Deeper perceptions: Pete comes across as a man who has been been able to acknowledge his feelings yet is not quick to extend himself to others in a truly deep emotional way, despite feeling like a giving person. Somewhere in his past he has done so and been hurt significantly and now holds this close to his chest. VJ has yet to find what feels like her true purpose and although her work is successful (and she feels a strong mastery over MBTI) she feels somewhat empty. In fact, she wonders how her life came to be focussed around this topic yet without it, starts to lose a sense of who she is in the world.
Does Pete feel he has been understood - not really
Is Pete glad the video is over at the end - yes
Is VJ glad the video is over at the end - yes
Does VJ think she has done a good job of understanding - yes
Is VJ sincere in her effort to understand - yes, I think so in her own way
Is type bias evident in the video - yes, but here I do have inherent bias myself
Is Pete as forthcoming as he might have been - no
Who is the more self-confident - Pete, interestingly
Who is the most reticient to connect - Pete
Who is the most expressive - VJ, in a compensatory role
Who has a stronger sense of mastery in their world - VJ
Who thinks their hand gestures are cool - VJ
Are Pete and VJ really friends? C'mon, you know this one
![Wink ;) ;)](data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7)
But they are compatible acquaintances.
There you go, the inner world of my thoughts EXPOSED for all to see. Like I said, even I don't think this is necessarily 100% accurate, just what I would see, interpret and sense. I would then, in a real world situation, use this data with other data to come to any necessary conclusions.