I'm having a difficult time discerning the difference of my own personal behaviors from Introverted Intuition or Extraverted Intuition, At first I contemplated INTJ but from what I have analyzed from other INTJ's they tend to be very goal driven and adamant towards a couple specific passions, I most certainly don't display this type of behavior whatsoever, however the reason I haven't crossed it out of my list of my possibilities as I do have ADHD which could potentially affect my external behaviors. When I refer to external behaviors I'm referring primarily to school which pretty much displays the biggest paradox in my next point. At school I tend to be extremely passive and adamant in behavior generally in projects I tend to be a burden among members and could be interpreted as the stereotypical quiet kid. Now my reasoning for why this is the case could possibly be due to the fact that I have been in Special Ed program most of my life which most certainly damaged my self-esteem and gave me a very intrinsic negative feeling towards Public education in its entirety which could factor in as a mental block. Here is where the contradiction comes in to play. I can be extremely commanding online, almost out of pure instinct. I actually sort of crave a bit of control when playing with others and tend to be extremely confrontational. I theorize this is either me using some of lower functions possibly lower Te or something like that, my other theory is that I am expressing my true self to the extremes however I don't really know myself to really confirm that so I don't know. What I think could possibly be interpreted as Inferior Sensing is my tendency to revert to very hedonistic outlets when it comes to being under stress, I'll revert to overindulging on food or some form of Adult film compulsively, however this could possibly be Se PolR as i'm sure every type is vunerable to stress eating of some sort. I think there is a possibility of me being in an Se grip for most of my life since I have noticed that my Se moment come in spikes and then wear off just as quickly as they came.
The case for extroverted intuition is honestly equally probable though. Ever since I was young I would constantly brew up stories in my head to what I would say to very extreme degrees, What I mean by that is that I would take it one step further then most I would effectively convince myself I was actually in my daydream and my friend would follow suit as well. What strange is that we never told one another we were only playing, our entire friendship was literally just us playing pretend, we effectively created our own pocket realm, we were in a limbo between reality and our own fantasy the real world only serving as a blank canvas to express our imagination. What's interesting note is that I felt extremely content with my own being like I was whole. Every time I recollect this memory I develop a strong sense of nostalgia wishing to return to that point in time on loop with different variation of that segment of time with variations and unique scenarios in between, could this be unhealthy use of Si? I don't think nostalgia is related to Si specifically but I do recollect memories with fairly decent clarity at least in its base form. Describing any form of physical details tends to take a bit of difficulty though.
(Here is an excerpt from one of my ramblings from my journal)-"The Two-Way door to the mind, What we interpret as the truth only exists as the ethereal gateway to more pathways and discoveries. “Truth†is only an objective term in the moment, humanity's defense mechanism to vast infinity of possibilities. Stagnation is a symptom of humanity's intrinsic deep rooted fear of the incomprehensible, their very inaction pulsing within the very essence of mother nature, Now a common belief is that humanity is orchestrating their own destruction, a one-sided battle between the grand collective of humanity and the terrible omnicencent force with no end nor any alliance, Time. Humans nor any other byproduct of the universe are exempt from this ever present force. Life on Earth is simply existence being expressed in a more deliberate manner. Stars are given birth within the womb of nebulas, but are extinguished just the same as any other, But nothing ever truly disappears. With humanity's ability to interpret their own sapience, came our very skewed perception of progress. Death. What is interpreted as a malignant force is simply only an interpretation in the same way the concept of God varies between each individual, or even what a physical object symbolises. One culture could be repulsed by one concept and another may require it to suppress the symptoms of nihilism."
I only put that journal entry because maybe someone could identify some specific speech pattern,
I've also suffered many creative blocks which makes me think that I could possibly be subconsciously wanting to be some sort of intuitive when in actuality my creative blocks are my consciousness screaming at me to suppressing it.
Anyway I have another post on my profile that gives more insight. Thanks for reading this far.
The case for extroverted intuition is honestly equally probable though. Ever since I was young I would constantly brew up stories in my head to what I would say to very extreme degrees, What I mean by that is that I would take it one step further then most I would effectively convince myself I was actually in my daydream and my friend would follow suit as well. What strange is that we never told one another we were only playing, our entire friendship was literally just us playing pretend, we effectively created our own pocket realm, we were in a limbo between reality and our own fantasy the real world only serving as a blank canvas to express our imagination. What's interesting note is that I felt extremely content with my own being like I was whole. Every time I recollect this memory I develop a strong sense of nostalgia wishing to return to that point in time on loop with different variation of that segment of time with variations and unique scenarios in between, could this be unhealthy use of Si? I don't think nostalgia is related to Si specifically but I do recollect memories with fairly decent clarity at least in its base form. Describing any form of physical details tends to take a bit of difficulty though.
(Here is an excerpt from one of my ramblings from my journal)-"The Two-Way door to the mind, What we interpret as the truth only exists as the ethereal gateway to more pathways and discoveries. “Truth†is only an objective term in the moment, humanity's defense mechanism to vast infinity of possibilities. Stagnation is a symptom of humanity's intrinsic deep rooted fear of the incomprehensible, their very inaction pulsing within the very essence of mother nature, Now a common belief is that humanity is orchestrating their own destruction, a one-sided battle between the grand collective of humanity and the terrible omnicencent force with no end nor any alliance, Time. Humans nor any other byproduct of the universe are exempt from this ever present force. Life on Earth is simply existence being expressed in a more deliberate manner. Stars are given birth within the womb of nebulas, but are extinguished just the same as any other, But nothing ever truly disappears. With humanity's ability to interpret their own sapience, came our very skewed perception of progress. Death. What is interpreted as a malignant force is simply only an interpretation in the same way the concept of God varies between each individual, or even what a physical object symbolises. One culture could be repulsed by one concept and another may require it to suppress the symptoms of nihilism."
I only put that journal entry because maybe someone could identify some specific speech pattern,
I've also suffered many creative blocks which makes me think that I could possibly be subconsciously wanting to be some sort of intuitive when in actuality my creative blocks are my consciousness screaming at me to suppressing it.
Anyway I have another post on my profile that gives more insight. Thanks for reading this far.