Such Irony,
I relate very much to what you say, especially about self-consciousness and caring what others think of you. I'd have to say, though, I like having both a few close friends and a good number of acquaintances. I do spend most of my time by myself; then with my husband, kids, and then I have a couple of friends who I see every once in awhile. Then I have even more friends I see even more infrequently because they live far away. I think the thing is I like having all of these social contacts, but spending an hour or so with someone is typically enough for me, as opposed to my extroverted husband who can see someone all day and then the next and next... For this reason I haven't worked outside the home in years. Having to be with not only people, but people who will potentially irritate me, day after day... well, it stresses me out.
So I guess that's what I mean by introverted social variants not seeming particularly social. As you said, candyland joe, the instinctual variant is what you find yourself paying attention to. I'm guessing what you're doing in the last paragraph is giving advice as to how to find a social group? I probably painted myself as more of an outcast than I really feel I am. I know how to have conversations, be polite, etc. I have friends, etc. I think it's more a longing to find my group, my place- probably a very social four thing to feel- having friends but still feeling left out, longing for something else instead of fully appreciating what you have.
Are you saying so/sx types operate with greater facility in the social realm than so/sp? Like so/sps need the ideal conditions to feel comfortable?
It seems like there are few social types on here. I find this interesting.