That's exactly the problem.
Relationships are not "games to win," they are collaborative efforts. And that is just the "barest of basics" when it comes to understanding relationships, it's a core foundation for actually building something healthy with someone else. If you're viewing relationships at core as a form of manipulation and exploitation by one part over the other, you're really not getting it regardless of how well you think you are playing the game.
Been there, done that. I've twenty years of a difficult marriage behind me and it taught me a lot, made me reconsider where I was coming from. It was horrid to go through, but at least now I'm happy I did.
It's not manipulation it's more about building attraction and drawing those emotions out, besides if the other party is willingly taking part in it, relationships are all about the man protecting the women and enjoying each others company, that's what sustains "healthy" relationships and that's what the OP is referring to with her and the INTP she no longer feels desirable or attracted to him because he no longer draws those feelings out because of critical mistakes he made with the "game"
I guess "women INTPs" are a contradiction to you, then?
I don't think it's about putting your logic on hold, I think what would be of benefit (which I hinted at before) is learning to do something entirely new: Integrate your emotional life with your logic, learning how to view the world through different frameworks besides the hyper-intellect one you were born into. That is where true courage comes into play -- to put yourself in a position where nothing you know can be of use to you, in order to understand other people and engage them where they are
INTP females have it even harder than men because of traditional gender roles, but this same approach could apply to them as well as we all suffer from weak Fe which is the most critical aspect when it comes to interpersonal relationships.
It's that same frame work of hyper-intelligence and detachment that initially attracts most women to us, but then our weak Fe usually messes it up as we don't understand the proper social protocols or how to emote properly to the opposite sex, and that's what she's in the OP about her INTP been there before it sounds just like me at 21-22 yrs old, I would start the relationship cool and logical, then my weak Fe or undestanding of women and my own emotions, I would say and do things that were inappropriate and push the woman away, INTP doesn't understand subtly when expressing emotions it usually just spills over, it's similar to feeding a man that hasn't eaten in days but INTP probably haven't expressed thier emotions in yrs, that's why once you combine understanding your emotions and keeping a tight lid on them and just exposing a woman to your keen intelliect while being detached emotionally which is more logical to do in relationships with women becuase the mystery and the fantasy keeps women attracted in relationships and not just foolishly spilling over your emotions, Men can't approach relationships logically so we're at a disadvantage being INTP whose Logic is our most dominant trait, so we sacrifice doing what is most reasonable but don't expect us to break that frame, expect the more seasoned INTP's to stay detached throughout the relationship.
I got 10 yrs of experience and a degree in common sense that cost me nothing