That's how I read what she said, without knowing anything more.
The relationship didn't dissolve very simply or cleanly. She first began to pull away; as much as I loved her, I agreed, because, well, if that's how she felt, I wasn't going to argue.
Then immediately she began to impose herself on me. She wouldn't leave me alone. Yet the moment I showed any interest in return, she would vanish in a puff of anger. For a year it kept going back and forth like this, she inveigling herself into my life at whim yet I being disallowed to even call her.
Eventually I'd had enough, and just shut her out completely. The last I saw her, she was scuttling around the corners of her apartment, half terrified and half flirtatious, as I collected the last of my things.
The conversation in question took place during the second paragraph, there. Over that period, she simultaneously refused to talk with me about our relationship and was furious with me whenever I tried to figure things out on my own.
She kept insisting there were no problems, and took the suggestion that things weren't perfect betwen us as a personal affront. What really pissed her off was the idea that we weren't communicating effectively. I don't think she saw the irony.
Of course I needed to understand, so I turned to third parties as a sounding board. It's interesting that this should have angered her so much, as I was the last person she went to on anything between us. She would make plans and consult with all of her family and friends before presenting me with decrees.
...
So the situation was pretty complicated. What
specifically she was referring to -- well, it could have been anything. Her responses often didn't directly follow anything I'd said.
Later in that same conversation for instance, she, out of nowhere, demanded how
dare I suggest that she'd gotten the idea to move apart from watching a
sitcom?! What it turned out she was referring to was a comment from months earlier, where I said that what we were going through at the time seemed pretty stereotypical relationship stuff -- the kind of thing you might see on a sitcom -- so we should be able to sit down and work through it one way or another.
Of course, the implication that she had gotten the idea from a sitcom... uh. That doesn't make any sense at all. It's ridiculous and unreasonable, which, since I (apparently) suggested it, made
me ridiculous and unreasonable. Though, come to think of it, why she had such an extreme emotional response to this interpretation... um. Well, not sure what to think, there.
This kind of (yes) communication problem seemed to turn up in just about every serious conversation. Yet she'd never bring it up at the time, and never seemed to give me the benefit of the doubt that I wasn't completely insane. She'd just sit on these bizarre interpretations and stew for months, even years. And then when she brought them to light, I could say nothing to convince her that her interpretation wasn't the correct one. Anything I did say was just grist for new misunderstanding.
Uh. You can tell I've not processed all this stuff as well as I'd like. It's all still a furious, painful muddle.
I guess I should note -- I'm not really looking for answers right now; I've spent too much energy on this, and I've got better things to think about. I'm just addressing your own attempts at finding order. It's not so easy!