Yeah she is young and the world is her oyster. Why not?
You're just a bit inexperienced. It's not possible for you to even have seen what the world has to offer in terms of other people and experiences. I hate being the old person saying this, but it is how it seems. You probably still feel like life is this long thing.
And, sorry you're having a hard time. You should discuss it with your boyfriend. He might understand more than you think.
I just clicked this thread to see spamtar chiming in with commentary of sexual exploits.
Glad I was not disappointed.
I think that it's not super-uncommon for INTPs to have some kind of relational wake-up call because they seem to enter relationships passively, if that makes sense.
If you don't have a ring it don't mean a thing.
Don't worry, its just sex, all is forgiven...just don't tell your SO.
Edit: and don't tell your friends because they will just turn around and tell your SO. There is a saying that gos "silence is golden"
Friends of mine who cheated on their partners all got out with a better relationship after they told them. Sure, it will be a test of your relationship, and all of those friends had to go through the dust for weeks or months, but if you want to continue to stay together you should definitely talk things out with your partner rather then remain with the guilt.
I recognize this. You thought you were one person based purely on your experiences to date and your values, but it turns out you're not that person at all. You've had to confront your own frailties. Frailties that you probably used to look down on others for, or at least be puzzled about. You say you have well-developed Fe, and perhaps you do, but you lack empathy and apparently, appropriate remorse. You come across as a bit narcissistic - all your measures of being successful in relationships revolve around your own happiness and contentment. You are distracting yourself here with irrelevant observations and intellectualization rather than really deal with the fact that you cheated on someone because you lacked the self-control to do otherwise. You don't want to absorb that into your self-concept. Tough. No matter how you or others try to justify it, it is unjustifiable. Learn from it, ask forgiveness and move on.I have always been a bit self-congratulatory on my seemingly developed Fe (for an INTP) - I've always gotten what I wanted in relationships and have only rarely been lonely and/or disconnected or had issues saying what I felt or being appropriately demonstrative when needed. I've also rarely been unhappy in relationships, even those that ended, and have never, not ONCE, had the desire to cheat on a partner.
With that introduction, I just cheated (big-time emotional + physical over a few days on holiday) on my long-term INTJ partner with (I am fairly sure) another INTP.
This was so out of the blue and unanticipated, and so very very damaging to my own feelings about my current relationship that I'm now thinking that my supposed self-confidence in my emotional abilities was all overconfidence and basically crap. Has anyone else had a similar experience? I thought that INTPs were supposed to be good at analysis, but it seems in this case I had a LOT of repressed shit going on that I really had no conscious knowledge of. Or at least that seems to be the case assuming that hardcore falling for someone you hardly know doesn't come out of nowhere.
Right now I'm stuck in a bit of limbo about what to do but it's not a state that can last.
Friends of mine who cheated on their partners all got out with a better relationship after they told them. Sure, it will be a test of your relationship, and all of those friends had to go through the dust for weeks or months, but if you want to continue to stay together you should definitely talk things out with your partner rather then remain with the guilt.
Fuck that noize...it might fly in the Netherlands but in general 20 year old INTJ finding out their girlfriend cheated on them...if they didn't just make a clean break then immediately after hearing it it would be all hell hath no fury! with sweet life shattering revenge many times over.
Fuck that noize...it might fly in the Netherlands but in general 20 year old INTJ finding out their girlfriend cheated on them...if they didn't just make a clean break then immediately after hearing it it would be all hell hath no fury! with sweet life shattering revenge many times over.
I recognize this. You thought you were one person based purely on your experiences to date and your values, but it turns out you're not that person at all. You've had to confront your own frailties. Frailties that you probably used to look down on others for, or at least be puzzled about. You say you have well-developed Fe, and perhaps you do, but you lack empathy and apparently, appropriate remorse. You come across as a bit narcissistic - all your measures of being successful in relationships revolve around your own happiness and contentment. You are distracting yourself here with irrelevant observations and intellectualization rather than really deal with the fact that you cheated on someone because you lacked the self-control to do otherwise. You don't want to absorb that into your self-concept. Tough. No matter how you or others try to justify it, it is unjustifiable. Learn from it, ask forgiveness and move on.
I have always been a bit self-congratulatory on my seemingly developed Fe (for an INTP) - I've always gotten what I wanted in relationships and have only rarely been lonely and/or disconnected or had issues saying what I felt or being appropriately demonstrative when needed. I've also rarely been unhappy in relationships, even those that ended, and have never, not ONCE, had the desire to cheat on a partner.
With that introduction, I just cheated (big-time emotional + physical over a few days on holiday) on my long-term INTJ partner with (I am fairly sure) another INTP.
This was so out of the blue and unanticipated, and so very very damaging to my own feelings about my current relationship that I'm now thinking that my supposed self-confidence in my emotional abilities was all overconfidence and basically crap. Has anyone else had a similar experience? I thought that INTPs were supposed to be good at analysis, but it seems in this case I had a LOT of repressed shit going on that I really had no conscious knowledge of. Or at least that seems to be the case assuming that hardcore falling for someone you hardly know doesn't come out of nowhere.
Right now I'm stuck in a bit of limbo about what to do but it's not a state that can last.
I think that it's not super-uncommon for INTPs to have some kind of relational wake-up call because they seem to enter relationships passively, if that makes sense.