Hmm, I think it's always nice to have social approval. It makes life easier. It helps further your goals. When I was growing up, I would kind of suck up to the teachers who were influential in the faculty, and I would try and act as "human" as possible around them so that I could get good referrals and recommendations for college. As for the crappy, incompetent teachers, I treated them like scum, gave my sarcasm full rein, and...so on. Their social approval didn't matter to me at all.
Anyway, I like approval, but I'm used to not being well-liked. INTJs have really strong self-confidence and really strong wills, so this social disapproval doesn't make us feel sorry for ourselves. It just makes us a little apathetic. So what if that person over there thinks I'm cold-hearted and doesn't "get" me? I'm used to it, and I get me.
As for the know-it-all friends who fish for compliments: I really, really hate when people do that, mostly because I used to do that as an insecure child. I think that's the sign of an immature INTJ. Maybe, if they're young, they'll grow out of it. I think most healthy INTJs do.