Cloudpatrol
Senior(ita) Member
- Joined
- Jan 26, 2016
- Messages
- 2,163
I am wondering if this is an INFP thing or an NF thing or just a personal dynamic.
I get feedback in my life a lot, that people wish I would communicate more when we are not physically together.
After reflection I feel this is because:
- I am very busy and know a lot of people and sometimes feel bombarded by communications. If anyone is in my life it means I value them and give them full attention. But, I also need time to myself and without stimuli like computers etc... So, if I need alone time to recharge, I consider that more of a priority than catching up on texts or emails.
- I usually have to process thoughts and feelings before expressing them. Often I am shocked to realize that in actuality I have not texted someone back - when in my mind I had composed a long, lovely message of thoughts.
- I HATE talking on the phone. If the person could come over or we can meet I will happily devote all time and energy but I find the phone soul-sucking. During phone conversations I find it difficult to not concentrate on how much more I have to politely endure before I can get off.
People tell me I would have more social energy if I didn't give each person my absolute attention and resources. But, they mean OTHER people in my life. They themselves still want to feel like the centre of my universe. Which isn't a 'play'. I am unable to make whomever I am currently with less than the focus of all my attentions. So, I find these suggestions a bit irksome.
Anyone in the same boat? Any practical tips?
I get feedback in my life a lot, that people wish I would communicate more when we are not physically together.
After reflection I feel this is because:
- I am very busy and know a lot of people and sometimes feel bombarded by communications. If anyone is in my life it means I value them and give them full attention. But, I also need time to myself and without stimuli like computers etc... So, if I need alone time to recharge, I consider that more of a priority than catching up on texts or emails.
- I usually have to process thoughts and feelings before expressing them. Often I am shocked to realize that in actuality I have not texted someone back - when in my mind I had composed a long, lovely message of thoughts.
- I HATE talking on the phone. If the person could come over or we can meet I will happily devote all time and energy but I find the phone soul-sucking. During phone conversations I find it difficult to not concentrate on how much more I have to politely endure before I can get off.
People tell me I would have more social energy if I didn't give each person my absolute attention and resources. But, they mean OTHER people in my life. They themselves still want to feel like the centre of my universe. Which isn't a 'play'. I am unable to make whomever I am currently with less than the focus of all my attentions. So, I find these suggestions a bit irksome.
Anyone in the same boat? Any practical tips?