ReadingRainbows
Cat Wench
- Joined
- Jan 28, 2009
- Messages
- 1,885
- MBTI Type
- ENFJ
- Enneagram
- 6w7
- Instinctual Variant
- sx/sp
Yeah, you are probably correct, but he still needs it. Too much thinking.
True. But I need it too sometimes :/
Yeah, you are probably correct, but he still needs it. Too much thinking.
I do agree to an extent. Which is why I keep my eyes open for prospects
Some of the best connections I've ever expirenced where with unexpected people at unexpected times.
We met in odd ways, had odd conversations and then passion and connection was born.
I would never change those expirences. Ever
Really bad matches via MBTI though. Rewarding for me though.
How long did these connections last?
I've only had one relationship in my life so far where I really opened the doors, let myself be vulnerable, let the passion out and let myself love freely. I had always wanted a relationship like that but hadn't found it, it often felt like I had this big brimming well of feelings that could not be expressed until I found that person. When I loved him, it really was like an explosion of all these feelings finally having a place to go whereas before that they had just been ideas in my head. I had spent years imagining and projecting what they might feel like, but I had never imagined anything close to what it did feel like.
People I take a fancy to are few and far between, and even when I do fancy someone I tend to take it easy. I'm definitely not a 'love at first sight' sort of person, I might be attracted as hell but love is in a different category. My main distraction is that I want to be FRIENDS with him first, and really good friends at that. So really, all I ever do is look for friends, it's just I hope one of them might turn out to be a love.
I guess it's that picky thing. I mean I'm passionate about the things I believe in, passionate about art and creativity, passionate about a lot of things. That intimate passion though, it's like it sort of just bubbles here in me and I don't let just anyone see it. I try not to put that stuff up on a pedestal, I try not to guard it so much it becomes like this fragile piece of blown glass. I knew going into my last relationship that putting my passion and love out there was risking getting hurt, I didn't let the fear of getting hurt prevent me from giving it. I've been hurt now, the rejection and the abandonment, but I'm still not going to let it stop me from giving it again one day if I find that right person.
To me I guess these certain things inside me which are hidden from most people are what sets my intimate relationships apart and gives them the most distinction for me or something. I don't look at these things inside me like some lofty, exclusive club that others should be just DYING to get into, I just look at it like "These are special parts of me that not everyone gets to have". It's not bait or a bargaining chip, I don't even mention it, I just give it when I know I'm with someone I want to give it to.
Hope that all made sense!!
I was wondering, about the "Sex-VS-Love" thing. Before I had that real intimate relationship, it was so damn easy for me to separate the two. I had my flings and just enjoyed the physical rewards without feeling emotional attachment with those who wanted the same thing. It was great! I'd never had the real passion and intimacy WITH the physical before, but now that I have I am not sure I can ever go back to sex for sex sake. Which SUCKS now that I'm single. Anyone else experienced that?
Perhaps you don't feel the passion. But I do, I really do. And plenty of other INFJs do as well. We just look like cold fish.the whole purpose of this thread is to ask why, at times, it seems like infjs just DO NOT feel the passion. and it's not a lack of sexual desire. it's a lack of focus on one person.
Uninspiring people make me feel off and uninspiredit makes you feel off and uninspired in the relationship.
I'm beginning to feel a little iffy on assigning set cognitive orders to types. According to my cognitive tests, Fi is only slightly behind Fe and Ti. And other INFJs test similarly. We could all just be delusional, but I doubt it.Fe feels sporadic and all-over-the-place. it doesn't seem to prioritize like Fi does, is worse at weighing feelings and creating sound and stable judgments. instead i feel like we are all-too-often trying to take care of the feelings of the other person, regardless of whether they rev us up. or we are just pushing off our excess on someone else.
How are you defining passion?it seems more like compassion than passion, to me.
F is a big part of making me want anything.
the whole purpose of this thread is to ask why, at times, it seems like infjs just DO NOT feel the passion. and it's not a lack of sexual desire. it's a lack of focus on one person. it makes you feel off and uninspired in the relationship. and just more generally, it feels like infjs are just often not in touch with their core needs in relationships and their core desires.
Fe feels sporadic and all-over-the-place. it doesn't seem to prioritize like Fi does, is worse at weighing feelings and creating sound and stable judgments. instead i feel like we are all-too-often trying to take care of the feelings of the other person, regardless of whether they rev us up. or we are just pushing off our excess on someone else.
it seems more like compassion than passion, to me.
Are you positive you're talking about the same type I am? You know, the Introverted, iNtuitive, Feeling, Judging type? That there are INFJs that don't experience passion is news to me. The bolded statement just might go down as newsflash of the year for me. Actually, this whole thread might.passion brings an intense focus into a relationship. it makes you want this person again and again. can't get enough. don't see anyone else.
i don't know, i just have gotten the impression from most of the infjs that i have met that they rarely had this kind of experience. that rather than find a relationship that is perfect, most kind of just stick eventually in one and, bc it satisfies some of their needs, call it good.
Then INFJs have both. Seriously. Why do you think other types love the INFJ? Because they make the person feel like their life revolves around them.compassion is something you give to everyone. passion is what makes you ignore everyone else bc all you want is this person. you are fucking in love with what he/she has to give you, and probably even more so, who he or she (in your mind) is.
This INFJ is 25 and has yet to feel passionate love for anyone. Any other INFJs are "broken" in terms of that? It suits me fine personally; I'm a misanthrope anyhow.
but what makes you passionately love someone? what makes you want one specific person more than anyone and everyone else? do infjs feel this happen for them easily, often, etc?
Are you positive you're talking about the same type I am? You know, the Introverted, iNtuitive, Feeling, Judging type? That there are INFJs that don't experience passion is news to me. The bolded statement just might go down as newsflash of the year for me. Actually, this whole thread might.
I'm beginning to feel a little iffy on assigning set cognitive orders to types. According to my cognitive tests, Fi is only slightly behind Fe and Ti. And other INFJs test similarly. We could all just be delusional, but I doubt it.
I was wondering, about the "Sex-VS-Love" thing.
but what makes you passionately love someone? what makes you want one specific person more than anyone and everyone else? do infjs feel this happen for them easily, often, etc?
the whole purpose of this thread is to ask why, at times, it seems like infjs just DO NOT feel the passion.