SilkRoad
Lay the coin on my tongue
- Joined
- May 26, 2009
- Messages
- 3,932
- MBTI Type
- INFJ
- Enneagram
- 6w5
- Instinctual Variant
- sp/sx
Most type descriptions of INFJs say that they are complex individuals. I think that most people who are INFJs relate to this on some level, either with despair, or with pride, or some mixture of the two.
Do you think others perceive us as complex, or is it more that we perceive ourselves as complex?
For myself, I think others perceive me as highly intelligent (not saying that to boast, it's just I've been told that enough times!!) and with a wide and somewhat eclectic variety of interests and pursuits...but that they also perceive me as fairly straightforward, in the way that I interact with others. I think (partly from my own observation of myself, and partly from others' comments) that I usually come across as quite engaging and adaptable with others. I also get comments like "sensible but fun."
However, I think others start to perceive me as complex when I have dark moods and strong emotions which I sometimes (not always) have difficulty hiding; when I speak passionately about things which others see just as light pastimes or abstract moral concepts; when I have what seem to be disproportionate emotional reactions which I can speak about logically but can't really control otherwise; or when I behave in a way that seems quite inconsistent with my usually consistent approach to life and people (ie. I'm seen as a caring friend but if I get to a point where I just can't emotionally handle being around someone, I drop them/disappear. Very infrequently, but it does happen.) I think people can also be confused by the fact that I seem to bear some setbacks/challenges with equanimity and resilience, when they would knock a lot of people over...but then I get knocked over and have great difficulty recovering from things which many/most others see as being no big deal.
I guess I do think of myself as complex but I wish I wasn't. I am finding it very exhausting and I find it difficult when I can't predict how I'm going to feel, especially in that realm of disproportionate emotional reactions. Probably I am getting better at predicting those reactions as I get a bit older and develop more self-knowledge and coping skills. But just as in life there are experiences which are always even better than you remember or think they're going to be, there are experiences which are always worse than you recall them being the last time, and that's hard to cope with.
Lately I feel as though I am standing on the parapet, seriously considering throwing down the boiling oil. Or I'm running through a maze, further hampered by sticky threads entangling me, or masses of cotton wool.
Do you think others perceive us as complex, or is it more that we perceive ourselves as complex?
For myself, I think others perceive me as highly intelligent (not saying that to boast, it's just I've been told that enough times!!) and with a wide and somewhat eclectic variety of interests and pursuits...but that they also perceive me as fairly straightforward, in the way that I interact with others. I think (partly from my own observation of myself, and partly from others' comments) that I usually come across as quite engaging and adaptable with others. I also get comments like "sensible but fun."
However, I think others start to perceive me as complex when I have dark moods and strong emotions which I sometimes (not always) have difficulty hiding; when I speak passionately about things which others see just as light pastimes or abstract moral concepts; when I have what seem to be disproportionate emotional reactions which I can speak about logically but can't really control otherwise; or when I behave in a way that seems quite inconsistent with my usually consistent approach to life and people (ie. I'm seen as a caring friend but if I get to a point where I just can't emotionally handle being around someone, I drop them/disappear. Very infrequently, but it does happen.) I think people can also be confused by the fact that I seem to bear some setbacks/challenges with equanimity and resilience, when they would knock a lot of people over...but then I get knocked over and have great difficulty recovering from things which many/most others see as being no big deal.
I guess I do think of myself as complex but I wish I wasn't. I am finding it very exhausting and I find it difficult when I can't predict how I'm going to feel, especially in that realm of disproportionate emotional reactions. Probably I am getting better at predicting those reactions as I get a bit older and develop more self-knowledge and coping skills. But just as in life there are experiences which are always even better than you remember or think they're going to be, there are experiences which are always worse than you recall them being the last time, and that's hard to cope with.
Lately I feel as though I am standing on the parapet, seriously considering throwing down the boiling oil. Or I'm running through a maze, further hampered by sticky threads entangling me, or masses of cotton wool.