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- Jan 25, 2014
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Tagging some Fe-doms: [MENTION=26163]FutureInProgress[/MENTION] [MENTION=26281]geedoenfj[/MENTION] [MENTION=19948]Showbread[/MENTION] (I'd also be curious to hear from [MENTION=5223]MDP2525[/MENTION] [MENTION=12103]Poki[/MENTION] and @Ospray for the other side of the coin).
There aren't many threads on inferior Ti for a variety of reasons, but like all of the inferior functions, it has it's unique share of sore points. In in particular that I am realizing that for inferior Ti, it's the lack of consistent ability to trust and feel calm over objective figures.
What made this dawn on me was a series of stressful events that occurred in lab (for reference, I'm in grad school (PhD) for organic chemistry). Like all sciences, it hinges on objective rules and observations. I have been having a lot of bad luck lately in my experiments, which has put me on edge and lead me to being somewhat distrustful of my results. This evening I checked one of my reactions using a standard qualitative test that is preformed multiple times on any reaction being run. You can read into the results of it a bit, but it's ultimately qualitative and only speaks of a few generalities. It showed that my reaction preformed as expected, but it did not look exactly as it always does, and potentially had an issue. Turns out, it was fine. Objectively, it was fine too. Nothing was amiss in the reaction other than milder than normal refluxing (boiling). All information, except for the qualitative test said the reaction was fine. Further, there was scientifically nothing that could go wrong to change the results negatively as I had done. Yet, I found myself unable to believe this.
I was incredibly stressed about this, and despite telling myself "ok, think of this rationally, everything else says it's fine", I couldn't relax. There seems to be this distinct lack of ability to learn how to properly assess information like this without a sense of distrust/panic over data. I've been at this for 5 years, and this is perhaps the most major thing I have been unable to learn despite tons of experience and countless examples. It seems like due to being inferior-Ti, it's almost beyond my ability to learn how to fully trust objective information in the wake of stress.
The common pattern I have noticed with inferior Ti in myself, is that unless everything along the way goes perfectly, and precisely within range of what is expected, objective information can't be trusted. It must be 100% correct with no anomolies. If there is one? Trust goes away. Further, there is a failure to consider the weight of the individual anomoly and proceed to think if it indicates of the data is to be trusted or not. My reaction/experiment illustrates this. Everything was right except for one minor detail, on something that is only qualitative. When this is noticed, I begin to think "this is off, and it shouldn't be. Because it's off, I can't trust any of the remaining data points". This process can be applied to a number of things, not just with science. I will be aware of the irrationality of this, and know what I am thinking isn't correct and even say "no, that's not rational". Despite that though, I still can't shake it. That little "what if...", however slim the odds, will not shut up. Not with everything of course, but if there is a significant amount riding on something (whether it be health related, financial, etc), it's more difficult to disregard this feeling of distrust.
I wonder if there is a connection to mental well being as well. I have noticed that if everything is going smoothly, it's fairly easy to mitigate this issue with distrusting data. However, if there is a lot of external stress/pressure, it's challenging. This comes up in financial areas as well. Everything hinges on money. If you don't have enough you can't pay rent or feed yourself; basic needs. As a result it's very "sensitive" and unless everything is stable, consistent, and expected. It's immensely uncomfortable and there is a distinct lack of rational thinking associcted with it. I simply don't trust it, and is a major reason why despite being 27, I have never owned a credit card.
It's strange to me that I can be aware of all of this, and see the irrationality of it all, but can't seem to learn to deal. It can be dealt with on a mental level, but it doesn't address the feelings with it. I know that the correct thing to do is to simply trust the data, trust the facts, because they simply are. You aren't supposed to read into them. Curiously though, it's the fact that they just are that is a problem. Fe is used to finagling stuff to make it work. It's why it does so well in the social world. Things that just are, can not be finagled. As such they feel incredibly rigid and scary. Like there is no loophole, way out, talk out, work around, etc should something go amiss. There is a lack of security blanket with it. There's a feeling of "you fuck up once and there is no second chance".
This can emerge in a lot of ways, and I think is the reason why Fe-doms can have a reputation for getting into crazy conspiracy theories (which often is full of rejection of data/figures), excessively devoutely religious groups (full of data rejection), and avoid careers/activities that hinge heavily on data processing (such as science and engineering). It's also a reason why Fe-doms can have a reputation for drinking the crazy juice when really stressed and are utterly unreasonable. It all ultimately hinges on (ironically) faith in objective information. For all the feelings of faith that Fe doms impart around them it's distinctly lacking with objective information.
I'd be curious to hear from other Fe-doms experience with this, and others general thoughts on this. In my experience there just doesn't seem to be a good way to learn how to approriate learn this skill. You can be fully aware of what to do, and even try to emulate it, but it just doesn't sink in. It's incredibly frustrating, but perhaps there's a better way to learn.
Discuss.
There aren't many threads on inferior Ti for a variety of reasons, but like all of the inferior functions, it has it's unique share of sore points. In in particular that I am realizing that for inferior Ti, it's the lack of consistent ability to trust and feel calm over objective figures.
What made this dawn on me was a series of stressful events that occurred in lab (for reference, I'm in grad school (PhD) for organic chemistry). Like all sciences, it hinges on objective rules and observations. I have been having a lot of bad luck lately in my experiments, which has put me on edge and lead me to being somewhat distrustful of my results. This evening I checked one of my reactions using a standard qualitative test that is preformed multiple times on any reaction being run. You can read into the results of it a bit, but it's ultimately qualitative and only speaks of a few generalities. It showed that my reaction preformed as expected, but it did not look exactly as it always does, and potentially had an issue. Turns out, it was fine. Objectively, it was fine too. Nothing was amiss in the reaction other than milder than normal refluxing (boiling). All information, except for the qualitative test said the reaction was fine. Further, there was scientifically nothing that could go wrong to change the results negatively as I had done. Yet, I found myself unable to believe this.
I was incredibly stressed about this, and despite telling myself "ok, think of this rationally, everything else says it's fine", I couldn't relax. There seems to be this distinct lack of ability to learn how to properly assess information like this without a sense of distrust/panic over data. I've been at this for 5 years, and this is perhaps the most major thing I have been unable to learn despite tons of experience and countless examples. It seems like due to being inferior-Ti, it's almost beyond my ability to learn how to fully trust objective information in the wake of stress.
The common pattern I have noticed with inferior Ti in myself, is that unless everything along the way goes perfectly, and precisely within range of what is expected, objective information can't be trusted. It must be 100% correct with no anomolies. If there is one? Trust goes away. Further, there is a failure to consider the weight of the individual anomoly and proceed to think if it indicates of the data is to be trusted or not. My reaction/experiment illustrates this. Everything was right except for one minor detail, on something that is only qualitative. When this is noticed, I begin to think "this is off, and it shouldn't be. Because it's off, I can't trust any of the remaining data points". This process can be applied to a number of things, not just with science. I will be aware of the irrationality of this, and know what I am thinking isn't correct and even say "no, that's not rational". Despite that though, I still can't shake it. That little "what if...", however slim the odds, will not shut up. Not with everything of course, but if there is a significant amount riding on something (whether it be health related, financial, etc), it's more difficult to disregard this feeling of distrust.
I wonder if there is a connection to mental well being as well. I have noticed that if everything is going smoothly, it's fairly easy to mitigate this issue with distrusting data. However, if there is a lot of external stress/pressure, it's challenging. This comes up in financial areas as well. Everything hinges on money. If you don't have enough you can't pay rent or feed yourself; basic needs. As a result it's very "sensitive" and unless everything is stable, consistent, and expected. It's immensely uncomfortable and there is a distinct lack of rational thinking associcted with it. I simply don't trust it, and is a major reason why despite being 27, I have never owned a credit card.
It's strange to me that I can be aware of all of this, and see the irrationality of it all, but can't seem to learn to deal. It can be dealt with on a mental level, but it doesn't address the feelings with it. I know that the correct thing to do is to simply trust the data, trust the facts, because they simply are. You aren't supposed to read into them. Curiously though, it's the fact that they just are that is a problem. Fe is used to finagling stuff to make it work. It's why it does so well in the social world. Things that just are, can not be finagled. As such they feel incredibly rigid and scary. Like there is no loophole, way out, talk out, work around, etc should something go amiss. There is a lack of security blanket with it. There's a feeling of "you fuck up once and there is no second chance".
This can emerge in a lot of ways, and I think is the reason why Fe-doms can have a reputation for getting into crazy conspiracy theories (which often is full of rejection of data/figures), excessively devoutely religious groups (full of data rejection), and avoid careers/activities that hinge heavily on data processing (such as science and engineering). It's also a reason why Fe-doms can have a reputation for drinking the crazy juice when really stressed and are utterly unreasonable. It all ultimately hinges on (ironically) faith in objective information. For all the feelings of faith that Fe doms impart around them it's distinctly lacking with objective information.
I'd be curious to hear from other Fe-doms experience with this, and others general thoughts on this. In my experience there just doesn't seem to be a good way to learn how to approriate learn this skill. You can be fully aware of what to do, and even try to emulate it, but it just doesn't sink in. It's incredibly frustrating, but perhaps there's a better way to learn.
Discuss.