INTPness
New member
- Joined
- Jan 22, 2009
- Messages
- 2,157
- MBTI Type
- INTP
- Enneagram
- 5w4
ESTJ's,
I've known a lot of you guys in my life. As you might know, INTP's are very different from ESTJ's. It's been hard for me to get along with them. Right now I am working for an ESTJ and I'm running into the same problems that I've had with other ESTJ's, so I'm coming to you for advice. I want my working relationship with this person to be the best that it can be. Maybe it won't be perfect, but I want it to be good.
He's very difficult for me to read. Sometimes he comes into work and says, "Good morning everyone. How was your weekend? It looks like we're going to have some good weather this week," etc, etc. He wants to chit-chat and be friendly. Other times it's like, "what the hell are you doing? Didn't you think about this? Don't do it that way!" Blah, blah, blah. It's all a bunch of negative crap. Like he forgot to eat his Wheaties before he left the house. Or maybe the dog threw up on his shoe as he was leaving the house. His negativity makes me want to get up and walk out.
Anyways, when he's in a good mood and wants to chit chat, he expects people to talk to him about whatever (sometimes lame) subject that he's talking about. Usually, I'm not interested in what he's talking about. I'd rather just be left alone and do my work. I wish he could see that and appreciate that. But, then later, when he doesn't look busy I might try to talk to him just so that he knows I'm sociable and somewhat friendly (not because I feel like talking to him) and then he won't want to talk.
What's the best thing one of your employees/co-workers could do to at least get some of your respect? Is it OK to just shut up 90% of the time and do my work or is he going to think I'm a prude? When I stay quiet and just focus on my work, it's like he thinks I need something to talk about. I don't. I just want to work. Besides, we don't have much to talk about anyways. He doesn't want to talk about things I want to talk about and vice versa. We don't have the same interests at all. But, I don't want him to hate me for crying out loud.
I've known a lot of you guys in my life. As you might know, INTP's are very different from ESTJ's. It's been hard for me to get along with them. Right now I am working for an ESTJ and I'm running into the same problems that I've had with other ESTJ's, so I'm coming to you for advice. I want my working relationship with this person to be the best that it can be. Maybe it won't be perfect, but I want it to be good.
He's very difficult for me to read. Sometimes he comes into work and says, "Good morning everyone. How was your weekend? It looks like we're going to have some good weather this week," etc, etc. He wants to chit-chat and be friendly. Other times it's like, "what the hell are you doing? Didn't you think about this? Don't do it that way!" Blah, blah, blah. It's all a bunch of negative crap. Like he forgot to eat his Wheaties before he left the house. Or maybe the dog threw up on his shoe as he was leaving the house. His negativity makes me want to get up and walk out.
Anyways, when he's in a good mood and wants to chit chat, he expects people to talk to him about whatever (sometimes lame) subject that he's talking about. Usually, I'm not interested in what he's talking about. I'd rather just be left alone and do my work. I wish he could see that and appreciate that. But, then later, when he doesn't look busy I might try to talk to him just so that he knows I'm sociable and somewhat friendly (not because I feel like talking to him) and then he won't want to talk.
What's the best thing one of your employees/co-workers could do to at least get some of your respect? Is it OK to just shut up 90% of the time and do my work or is he going to think I'm a prude? When I stay quiet and just focus on my work, it's like he thinks I need something to talk about. I don't. I just want to work. Besides, we don't have much to talk about anyways. He doesn't want to talk about things I want to talk about and vice versa. We don't have the same interests at all. But, I don't want him to hate me for crying out loud.