Not a thing you can do. Just pretend to agree with their values. If the F in question has a well developed T, you can reason with them. Just ignore their emotional reaction for the time being, if they really have a good T they will appreciate your point eventually. After their passions tame down and they get around to think. But with most Fs, if you cannot avoid dealing with them, just lay low and be polite, you're walking a minefield.
If you're getting mashed, remember, Henry Kissinger said 'if you want to win someone back, never disagree with them'. Not necessarily that you should try to 'win them back' or be on good terms with them, thats too much of a headache no doubt, just to get them off your back agree with everything they say. Smile. Say it gently. Remember, to Fs it doesn't really matter what you say, only how you say it, so don't be afraid to make blatantly false claims or contradict what you said 5 seconds ago. They will hardly notice, and if they do and have an emotional reaction about it, even that will be overshadowed by the 'gentle and agreeable' way you said it. Remember, to an F, truth doesn't really matter, it is all about what 'feels' like harmony. Doesn't have to be genuine harmony or long-lasting, or with any good potential, just in the moment it must feel 'good' and like harmony to the F. In short, it doesn't even need to make any sense, it just has to feel 'good' to an F, and I believe the above shows how to induce such a feeling within an F.
*Mental note: notice how if you were to come to an F with your problem, they would make no effort to make sense of it or help you solve it. They would just keep on saying, its okay! You're great! You did the right thing! Everything will be alright!
(Even though all of those comments are complete non-sense often)
This is what they want to hear. To a T it sounds ridiculous to have these things said as they are filtered through our critical thinking faculties, they don't filter anything. They just take it for face value. Tell them 'you're great' they buy it wholesale. Their emotions are directly influenced by what is said, not by their thoughts on what is said.
Okay, Bluey, once again...has said some great things and some absolute crap.
Let's deal with the absolute crap first: Fs do realize when a person is inconsistent. TOTALLY!!!!!! At least I do. And it pisses me off because I think it is UNFAIR.
Dude, be consistent or fart!!!! Because farting makes more sense than opening your mouth - and it's better for your health than trying to pull a fast one on me. (Not talking directly to Bluey, btw, I mean that is what I think about anyone who tries to pull a fast one on me).
Usually, I don't make a point of letting the other person know that I think they are inconsistent. An SJ will insist he's right; and SP will fart and not care; and NT will rationalize as best he can to make sure you really do think he was consistent even though he's full of crap; and an NF will get all pissy, start getting upset and say you don't respect their opinion. (Okay, that's totally stereotypical crap, but I'm exaggerating to prove a point). So I just roll my eyes and go for a walk - but that does not mean I did not notice.
OF COURSE I try to uplift people. But if they are talking crap, I will tell them that in a diplomatic way. Inside I think, "YOU DUMB FART!!!" but I say, "Okay, let's try that again in real English." Then they know I'm getting kind of frustrated and pissed off.
Sure, I want a good feeling. I'm not a bloody masochist like some people. <ahem> On the other hand, I will not totally accept crap just to keep the peace, or else I would not be posting this reaction.
However, Bluey, we should not exaggerate. Some of your points were good. For example, I totally agree with your first assessment. Sometimes, when Fi takes over, I do act relatively unreasonable. My husband usually susses out -can I reason with this chick right now or not. If not, he goes away, and I think a while. I go inside and realize, "Carolyn, you were being a complete nut and a total shithead." When he comes back and tries to reason after my feelings have calmed down, I am actually MORE rational than I ever am - that is, after an argument. I guess my Te is like an emergency damper, and I act more rational even than when my Ne is really active. I need time, dude, I just need time. Gimme the time, and I will see the logic and say, "Alllllllrighty then, time to act a little bit sane, and accept that this is just a fact."
Here's a concrete example: Husband comes up to me and asks me if we can invest money in a certain way. First reaction, "ARE YOU INSANE?!?!?!?!? We have to worry about getting food on the table, dumbass!!! NO!" He just leaves me alone and says okay. Then I turn inward. Think about it. Hmm, do I know a better way to invest? No. Is it potentially profitable? Yes. Let's do a cost-benefit analysis. Do we have a lot to lose? Not really. What if I needed help, would he help me? Shit. Maybe not, because I was such a total ass back there. DAMN IT DAMN IT - okay, fine...Here's your money. But you are dead if I do not get it back by XYZ date with interest.
Same thing goes with personal behavior. We have a total argument and I could just leap off the next bridge. Seriously - okay, not seriously, but you know what I mean.
Thank god I have tertiary Te, or I would have died years ago. Anyways, so after the heat is over, it kicks in and I think, "HELLO?!?!?!?! What is wrong with you?! Stop acting like such an emotional basketcase. It is just an argument. And anyway, two people are always at fault when there is an argument - that means the other person and you. So stop being a dumbass and start acting like a normal, rational human being." People need to leave me alone so that my Te can kick in. Cause once it does, we're in the clear. But if you keep pushing, and if you keep haranging, and if you keep bitching about how irrational I am - I'll just GAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!