Oddly, it is a mixed between " you look super friendly", to " You look like a cold bitch". Probably depends on where they see me first.
Yea I think when I'm lost in my head (some? many?) people view it as a personal affront... It used to bother me a lot more than it does now.
People usually think I'm nicer than I actually am. People also tend to think I like them more than I do -- which puts me in a weird position and makes me feel bad about how heartless I am in not liking them that much...
Ah I hate that. I sometimes get people telling me their life stories and I generally find it interesting because I find people interesting. So I ask questions, listen with active interest. I guess I sort of get caught in the moment and forget how it might appear to the other person... It's interesting to hear about people, their motives, their thoughts, their perceptions.
I'm looking at it as more of something interesting to analyse and understand, they think I am empathizing... and then I feel like a shitty person because I wasn't
And when I realize that's what they're thinking about me, all I want to do is get the hell outa there.
Quiet>easygoing>intelligent>weird>polite>trustworthy.
Good, but weird and easygoing should be swapped, and I don't like the word intelligent to describe me - I prefer smart.
I play ISFJ quite well.
That's kind of interesting. My INTP husband sometimes plays ISFJ as well.
And I'm curious, what connotations of smart do you prefer to intelligent?
Are you sure? I find that our perspective of self can sometimes be pretty warped. What people see as being refined/good tastes and reserved, others see as being elitist/hipster and antisocial.
Well that's pretty much the reason I find the subject interesting.
If you see yourself as having good taste and another person sees you as a snob, who is right? Is there an objective
you that you are both touching on but neither grasping? A person's motives can only really be known by themselves, if after genuine analysis you determine that you don't hold feeling of superiority over other people (something that seems required to be a snob), then you conclude the person's opinion of you is faulty. But what if you keep getting called a snob... is there a point where public opinion can overtake self-knowledge?
I'm just rambling here, stream of consciousness... who knows if this makes any sense.
I have a perception of myself which I am constantly analysing for truth. Any feedback I get from others is data to be considered and potentially integrated into my understanding of myself. Even if I don't agree with it, it's interesting it see how different people view different behaviors. And it gives insight into that person as well.
Oh, and I used to hear "snob" a lot growing up. Or rather, "Ooh, I thought you were a snob until I got to know you". Hearing that as much as I did turned me into someone who over-explains, which persisted for a long time. I'm looking forward to ditching that habit entirely.
Yea I got snob growing up. I remember vividly the first time someone said it to me. It was my close friend and she said it in this matter-of-fact way that left me shocked and breathless --like I'd been pummeled in the stomach.
"You think you're better than everyone and always have your nose in the air."
Hilarious in a sense, because I was pretty shattered inside at the time and viewed myself as beneath everyone.
I also found myself over explaining, or consciously making an effort to appear friendly. That lasted too many years. And the habit, annoyingly, is still there.
I'm continually told by those that know me best that I'm intelligent (but who hasn't been told this?), perceptive and wise (which I find to be the better compliment)
I agree.
Maybe because intelligent is too easy of a compliment? It doesn't seem to carry as much meaning.
There are these people in my family who tell everyone "You're so beautiful!" It becomes kind of meaningless after a while...
I tend to think the way you describe others really says more about you than it does them but..
Agree!
That is an even more fascinating subject.
My mom says I'm intelligent, but she's got this whole 'living vicariously through her children' thing going on. She values being perceived as intelligent, but is incredibly insecure about it. So when she says that to me, she is making herself feel better.
My sister says I'm crazy because I dyed my hair bright red. She is fastidiously perfect in her blond hair and designer clothing.
I'm not even going into the evil thing. THAT one is too horrible. I'm still crushed by it.
(Did I just call my sister a herd of cows behind her back where she has no chance of defending herself? Oh sweet poetic justice.)