To some degree, I'm not going along with the don't talk about it suggestions.
Yes, it's easier to leave an INTJ alone with their feelings. For one thing, talking about their feelings can cause trouble because rather than actually talk about the feelings, they will use the discussion to seek expression and achievement for their current feeling. In other words, they may lash out. In doing so, they'll jump a few logic steps and whatever they say--while definitely true in some sense--is for pragmatic effect. And so, actual discovery of the true core and direction of the feeling gets lost. They end up a bit directionless, having lost the chance to re-prioritise.
But there is something to be said for talking feeling with an INTJ. (If one knows what one is doing.) For one, it'll be a short talk. For two, it gets the feeling out there, probably (I guess) as some kind of statement of missed goals. For three, if those first things come together well, the INTJ has a clearer picture of what he should do next--promote this feeling or that, follow this plan or the other, or give up, and otherwise begin the restructuring of everything.
You've been trying to get pregnant for some time, yeah? So it's high stress, high stakes. And feeling isn't supposed to fail. I wonder--totally just guessing--I wonder if he's not struggling with conflicting decisions: one, give up because the technology doesn't support the hope; two, hope, hope and keep working for hope.
Really just guessing. Sorry if it gets in the way of working out what you need to work out.