Rachelinpa
New member
- Joined
- Aug 4, 2008
- Messages
- 878
- MBTI Type
- ENFP
so yesterday morning, my istp mentioned that we could watch a movie together after he had easter dinner with his parents and he would call me on his drive back.
since i was not sure how long he was going to be, i decided to go out with some friends for drinks keeping my phone accessible. at any rate, somehow i missed the call by a half hour, but i called him back as soon as i saw the missed call. i invited him to come out with my friends, but he said he was tired. unable to hide my disappointment, i said, "i thought we were going to hang out tonight..." to which he replied, "i know... i am just really tired... and wasn't expecting to go out." long story short, i guessed (that it was not that he did not want to hang out at all, but) maybe he just did not want to hang out in a group of people. i told him i would come over.
mulling over this in the next few minutes... i changed my mind. in a flurry of emotion and not wanting to appear needy, i texted him that i understood he was tired and i would just go home. he immediately calls and says, "what's wrong?" and of course, i have a mini emotional breakdown and explain how i was disappointed because i had the expectation of spending time together, but i was trying very hard to be reasonable and hated feeling needy. and of course, i would NEVER want him to hang out with me due to obligation. at any rate, he tells me that he will pick me up and we can watch a movie together. he said he only could not promise he would stay awake through it. i tell him he doesn't have to... i tell him that it's okay and i know he is tired... he comes over anyway, but i feel guilty and stupid for wanting to see him. and WEAK for telling him.
i feel like he came to see me because he is a good boyfriend and out of obligation to the relationship... not because he wanted to see me... asking someone to sacrifice time is a hard one because time (to me) indicates interest in the person. i try not to take it all personally and really, i was more fine with not seeing him than feeling like i was forcing him to see me.
at any rate, what do you istps think? did i handle it okay? i was not trying to guilt him to come see me. i was just sad. is it better that i told him about the disappointment? do you think he only came to see me out of obligation?
since i was not sure how long he was going to be, i decided to go out with some friends for drinks keeping my phone accessible. at any rate, somehow i missed the call by a half hour, but i called him back as soon as i saw the missed call. i invited him to come out with my friends, but he said he was tired. unable to hide my disappointment, i said, "i thought we were going to hang out tonight..." to which he replied, "i know... i am just really tired... and wasn't expecting to go out." long story short, i guessed (that it was not that he did not want to hang out at all, but) maybe he just did not want to hang out in a group of people. i told him i would come over.
mulling over this in the next few minutes... i changed my mind. in a flurry of emotion and not wanting to appear needy, i texted him that i understood he was tired and i would just go home. he immediately calls and says, "what's wrong?" and of course, i have a mini emotional breakdown and explain how i was disappointed because i had the expectation of spending time together, but i was trying very hard to be reasonable and hated feeling needy. and of course, i would NEVER want him to hang out with me due to obligation. at any rate, he tells me that he will pick me up and we can watch a movie together. he said he only could not promise he would stay awake through it. i tell him he doesn't have to... i tell him that it's okay and i know he is tired... he comes over anyway, but i feel guilty and stupid for wanting to see him. and WEAK for telling him.
i feel like he came to see me because he is a good boyfriend and out of obligation to the relationship... not because he wanted to see me... asking someone to sacrifice time is a hard one because time (to me) indicates interest in the person. i try not to take it all personally and really, i was more fine with not seeing him than feeling like i was forcing him to see me.
at any rate, what do you istps think? did i handle it okay? i was not trying to guilt him to come see me. i was just sad. is it better that i told him about the disappointment? do you think he only came to see me out of obligation?