scortia
New member
- Joined
- May 23, 2009
- Messages
- 201
- MBTI Type
- INFJ
1. When someone does something that hurts you or another can you forgive them?
If they hurt just me, in most cases it doesn't even bother me. (or I'm just going to bubble over someday... maybe haha) My position on forgiveness is that someone who thinks they've done something that requires forgiveness, I will easily forgive them. People who won't take responsibility for their actions and don't feel like they need forgiveness, I won't forgive. It's about integrity and self-awareness. Forgiveness can be pretty vague with me though. I haven't forgiven some friends for things but I still act just fine with them... but those things will always sit in my head if a similar situation pops up.
2. How important is intent/motive? Can you forgive them if they hurt someone unintentionally vs intentionally hurting another?
It's all about intention for me really. Unintentionally hurting someone is nothing. If someone puts themselves first and walks over another person, that's 100x's worse.
3. Is there a limit to how many times you forgive for the same offense?
Hmm, I "let go" of a lot. I had one friend who was manipulative... I saw her use people and perform selfishly in most things that she did time and time again. I'm still an optimist and I hoped she'd come around in due time. I eventually started nudging her about her actions... that didn't take, so the next situation that popped up I blew up. Literally, blew up. By that point, there's no forgiveness left in me unless that person turns their life around. Unfortunately, practically no one does. The few friends that I've confronted in almost the same situation each time will take what I say and make themselves into a victim and spit venom about me for years. So yeah, absolutely no willingness to look internally. Once again, what is there to forgive in a person who refuses to move forward? Ugh, my least favorite sort of person in the world really.
If they hurt just me, in most cases it doesn't even bother me. (or I'm just going to bubble over someday... maybe haha) My position on forgiveness is that someone who thinks they've done something that requires forgiveness, I will easily forgive them. People who won't take responsibility for their actions and don't feel like they need forgiveness, I won't forgive. It's about integrity and self-awareness. Forgiveness can be pretty vague with me though. I haven't forgiven some friends for things but I still act just fine with them... but those things will always sit in my head if a similar situation pops up.
2. How important is intent/motive? Can you forgive them if they hurt someone unintentionally vs intentionally hurting another?
It's all about intention for me really. Unintentionally hurting someone is nothing. If someone puts themselves first and walks over another person, that's 100x's worse.
3. Is there a limit to how many times you forgive for the same offense?
Hmm, I "let go" of a lot. I had one friend who was manipulative... I saw her use people and perform selfishly in most things that she did time and time again. I'm still an optimist and I hoped she'd come around in due time. I eventually started nudging her about her actions... that didn't take, so the next situation that popped up I blew up. Literally, blew up. By that point, there's no forgiveness left in me unless that person turns their life around. Unfortunately, practically no one does. The few friends that I've confronted in almost the same situation each time will take what I say and make themselves into a victim and spit venom about me for years. So yeah, absolutely no willingness to look internally. Once again, what is there to forgive in a person who refuses to move forward? Ugh, my least favorite sort of person in the world really.