Harlow_Jem
New member
- Joined
- Apr 18, 2008
- Messages
- 219
- MBTI Type
- eNTJ
- Enneagram
- 8w9
So when I first met ESFJ I really did not like him, I wanted to get as far away from him as possible; something about him rubbed me the wrong way. And it wasn't because he was rude or anything like that; in fact the opposite. But he was just too goddam friendly. Anyway, to make a long story short, he was very intent on pursuing me so I decided, "it's summer and he's adorable, why the fuck not." We had been hooking up and hanging out/getting close when one night I completely fucked it up. I was drunk and completely messed up on xanax and half consciously laid down on his best friends bed and ended up sleeping with his best friend.
I told him about it right after because I didn't want to lie to him but he was understandably cold about it and said something like, "nah I dont care you do what you gotta do" and sent me several sarcastic/mean texts and kept saying, "just kidding" afterwards. And last night, coming back from a party I texted him with, "I'm driving back from (town), are you up to chill or should I call it a night?" and he replied with, "call it a night." ouch. I still can not believe I sort of fell for an ESFJ AND fucked it up so badly. Is there any way to salvage this or is this too fucked up to reconcile?
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UPDATE:
Ok, I need more help. He's been out of state for the past week and a half and last night I got really drunk and texted him with:
"I miss you darling"
He texted back: "Lies"
Me: "Sweetie, I'm being straight up...I miss you"
Him: "ehh idk, well ill be back sat"
Me:"baby tell me you miss me"
Him: "well i do but i don't really believe you"
Me: "ive been thinking about you this whole time...fuck everyone else its just you and me"
Him: "well i guess we'll see what happens...im kinda shaky about this whole thing since all that happened"
Me: "me too...the next time I see (best friend) i will punch him in the face for both of us...i miss you!"
Him: "miss you too"
An hour later, he texts me with: "what are you doing"
And tonight, he updates me with: "im coming back sunday night now"
I reply with: "alrightey...still miss you foo'"
Him: "alright alrighttt i miss you too"
Me: "haha shut up...btw sorry for being a drunken fool yesterday"
Him: "dont worry about it i was JUST as drunk as you were haha"
Please help, what does this all mean, if anything? ESFJ's work so completely differently from INTJ's that I am so lost right now. Is he just updating me that he's coming back on sunday out of obligation or would he not even bother to reply/text me if he didn't care? Am I coming off too strong? This is all so completely stupid and yet I can't get myself out of it.
I told him about it right after because I didn't want to lie to him but he was understandably cold about it and said something like, "nah I dont care you do what you gotta do" and sent me several sarcastic/mean texts and kept saying, "just kidding" afterwards. And last night, coming back from a party I texted him with, "I'm driving back from (town), are you up to chill or should I call it a night?" and he replied with, "call it a night." ouch. I still can not believe I sort of fell for an ESFJ AND fucked it up so badly. Is there any way to salvage this or is this too fucked up to reconcile?
--------------------------------------
UPDATE:
Ok, I need more help. He's been out of state for the past week and a half and last night I got really drunk and texted him with:
"I miss you darling"
He texted back: "Lies"
Me: "Sweetie, I'm being straight up...I miss you"
Him: "ehh idk, well ill be back sat"
Me:"baby tell me you miss me"
Him: "well i do but i don't really believe you"
Me: "ive been thinking about you this whole time...fuck everyone else its just you and me"
Him: "well i guess we'll see what happens...im kinda shaky about this whole thing since all that happened"
Me: "me too...the next time I see (best friend) i will punch him in the face for both of us...i miss you!"
Him: "miss you too"
An hour later, he texts me with: "what are you doing"
And tonight, he updates me with: "im coming back sunday night now"
I reply with: "alrightey...still miss you foo'"
Him: "alright alrighttt i miss you too"
Me: "haha shut up...btw sorry for being a drunken fool yesterday"
Him: "dont worry about it i was JUST as drunk as you were haha"
Please help, what does this all mean, if anything? ESFJ's work so completely differently from INTJ's that I am so lost right now. Is he just updating me that he's coming back on sunday out of obligation or would he not even bother to reply/text me if he didn't care? Am I coming off too strong? This is all so completely stupid and yet I can't get myself out of it.
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