First off I'd like to say I'm so glad I found this thread, a lot of interesting stuff I can relate to
Annnd to dig up an old thread, I have a question for the ENFP's with close INTP friends. My best friend is a INTP and usually we get along crazy well. I can start conversations with her about anything and everything and she'll just go along with it, so it's not uncommon that we end up talking all day up into the wee hours of the morning.
However it seems like we've been getting into a lot of arguments lately about how we approach things socially. Whenever I try to explain to her that she shouldn't tell somebody something because it will hurt their feelings, she gets abrasive and tells me that "so what? it's good for them to know so then we can talk about it". Everything for her is "talk it out". I get really upset when she does this and I'm around, because I can feel the sting from their reaction, but I feel like I can't do much about it, that's just how she acts with people.
But then she turns around and tells me that when I don't tell people "up front" about things, it's "lying". She gets REALLY upset if people aren't truthful about things, so much so that every time I do something that seems to her is "not myself" it's called "lying". I don't know how to explain to her that I am still actually myself, I can just emphasize points of myself, and hide other points to fit in each different crowd.. yes I think everyone is cool in their own way, they have their good sides and bad sides, and I like to focus on their good sides. She thinks people should focus on ALL sides, all the time, whether it causes them pain or discomfort. And the whole calling me a liar thing irks me, sigh.. I just simply can't lie. ever. I suck at it and wouldn't wanna do it anyway, when she says it I kinda feel like she's telling me I live a lie?? It's so not true!!
And why sulk in the misery of a cloudy day when you can be helping bring the sun out of somebody? I don't get it. Does anybody else get the "liar" thing? It's like people put their view of me ON ME and when I stray from it I get called a liar, wtfx! And how do you deal with people/friends who don't get people's feelings..