Secretive is my middle name It takes me a long, long time to share information with people because I have to feel like I can trust them. It's been both good and bad. I've missed out on sharing somewhat but then again, most people don't seem worthy of the real me so...
Yup, I often ponder the paradoxical nature of my "closed openess". I am incredibly open by nature, up to a point, that is...
I share my secrets with self and strangers, and that's about it.
It's funny when people think they know me because I'm quite open and talk a lot about my family etc. Still they do not know ME and I'm not willing to really open up. I'm very controlling about myself and who I let in. I think I haven't let too many people really in.
I glad I understand myself and know what I am and who I am.
Otherwise I would be really lost.
So true!!!!
I would be one lost and lonely soul if it weren't for the companionship, and guidance of my best friend, who surprisingly/luckily happens to be me. (pats self on back)
We are a strange breed but cool as hell, IMO. I consider anyone lucky to hang out with us because the smile and laughter factors along with the attention must be intoxicating.
Forgot to mention that the bright, shiny whoo-ha stuff must be quite something to see, as well from a non-ENFP perspective.
This is something I've never had the chance to discuss, but ever since I was a kid there has almost always seemed to be people, ie friends, acquaintances, tugging at me, vying for my attention...and I do mean all of my attention!!!!
I've always had a preferrence for one-on-one communication, and in most of these scenarios, I become an incredibaly attentive person where my focus becomes the one in which I speaking to, (or more appropriately, the one I'm listening to)
Many people have had a tendency to become, as you mention, somewhat intoxicated by my level of attentiveness to them.
I don't want to be someone's drug, rather, I want to be a refreshing cold slap to the face!!!!
I hate, hate, hate when I'm being pulled, where I'm forced to satisfy one person's ego at the expense of hurting another's feelings, bleh!!!!
Fellow ENFPs, have you guys ever considered that perhaps, we're
too awesome!?!?!?!?
I can go from overly warm to very cool with a person in a moment when something changes. And I'm never in the middle. I'm either completely there or just not there at all.
And YES to the traipsing off and coming back and reconnecting thing. I still consider the people I knew from school 'friends', even though I haven't really spoken to them in years. Time doesn't change things!
Yup, I too am often an all-or-nothingist!!!
Time is ubercyclical for me. My deeply rooted, emotional/imaginative/intuitive self has remained pretty constant through out my life's experience. I still love the things/ideas/people, I loved ten years ago. When I truly connect to someone or something, that connection is more or less crystallized in my memory.
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Interesting about going from warm to cool in an instant. I'll share a recent experience and see if it resonates with any of you. I know a couple who are meditation teachers and we were hanging out for a bit discussing all this stuff. Well, we went to the spiritual community center on Sunday but they came in (as usual) VERY late - like 45-50 minutes late; this is his thing, not her's and I frankly don't know how she can stand it every day. But, I digress. I don't hold being late against anyone as I am routinely 5-10 minutes late myself but this is nuts. Anyway, they ended up having to take separate seats - no surprise there - and she sat next to me in the one empty seat. There was a lady in the remaining one. Well, during a song, he comes over to smoosh his way in and then basically pushes the other lady out of her seat. She looked very introverted to me and then she went over to sit somewhere else. I was F'N MORTIFIED! My opinion of him TOTALLY changed due to this and I skipped an event afterward (for other reasons) but have put major distance between us since then. I have no idea why this pisses me off so much but I suppose it's due to my thinking that it was a major gaffe to push that lady out of her seat and then act like that's normal, run of the mill behavior. Like he's the only person on this earth and everything and one just moves out of his way. I know he's a meditation teacher and "out there" but Christ! Even writing about it ticks me off.
There is my warm to cool in an instant example.
That's just plain nasty, nasty people evoke the most incited, toxic nastiness in me, that nastiness being my desire to psychologically/emotionally/intellectually harm that person who I've witnessed being nasty!!!!!
I view them as masked duplicitous disgusting destructive creatures......gotta let this go or I'll burn up
Meditation teacher my ass!!!!!
Interesting!
Personally, I've noticed myself 'go cool' (lol) when I either notice someone liking me/taking waay too much interest in me (agh!) or when they're done something major that makes me reconsider my initially optimistic view of their character (a la your story) - in some cases this has been people being very clingy or abrasively annoying.
I think it's my mechanism to tell them to 'go away' without actually having to be mean and tell them that.
I usually find it difficult to maintain the frostiness for very long if they consistently present themselves as a decent human being after said incident, though.
Oh, and behaviour lacking a basic modicum of respect/consideration ANNOYS me. How much effort does it bloody take!?
Yup, yup, and yup!!!
Group hug!!!!
to the back-patting session. 
), but one-on-one is definitely where I shine. Like you said - we're incredibly attentive.
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