Brainstorming and unfiltered musings can be somewhat rough around the edges, which apparently can cause others to believe that this is the end product, instead of an exploration. Since the unfinished product can be hard to digest and it is mistaken as an endproduct, people seem to push the alarmbutton on how this is 'so wrong'. Unfortunately, that also stiffles the creative thinking/feeling process that the enfp is looking for, which leads to the insights we enjoy and are searching for.
That's very well said, Amargith. I've witnessed this type of exploration, and the confusion and misunderstandings arising from it both here and IRL. There seems to be an NFP-style process that needs to be followed in order to create solid conclusions that can be expressed to one's satisfaction. I will know instantly when something bothers me but the articulation of that takes more time and effort.
Here's a personal example, from just last night. A Facebook friend posted on her wall "first bbq meal of the season: (local, pasture-raised) t-bone steak with carmelized onions & portabello mushrooms. mmm..." I found this annoying. Then what is required is time to deconstruct what was offensive to me about something seemingly innocuous...
I say to hubs: Oh I don't like A's status. Hubs asks why, what's wrong with it? I stumble a little for the words, and say something like "It's just so ... like boasting, or saying something because it's fashionable now to be environmentally aware ... (pause, search more for words) ... I mean, I grew up living an organic, farm life so of course I support it ... (pause) ... and really almost all beef is pasture-raised aside from vealers (pause) ... it's just like it's another form of proselytizing. Gah I can't find exactly the words I want."
Hubs listens, familiar with having to wait to understand such utterances fully.
3 minutes elapse.
Then, it comes to me: it's like this verse from the Bible: "When you fast, do not look somber as the hypocrites do, for they disfigure their faces to show men they are fasting. I tell you the truth, they have received their reward in full. But when you fast, put oil on your head and wash your face, so that it will not be obvious to men that you are fasting, but only to your Father, who is unseen; and your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you" (Matthew 6:16-18).
Now, I am not trying to make a religious point specifically; the symbolism of the quote is what appeals to me.
When people make an outward show of their personal choices, but then live other parts of their life in opposition to these supposed values.....I feel anger and frustration towards that display. There's this lack of congruence, of honesty. I don't parade my choices because even if I buy organic produce and recycle and support green living I still throw out a garbage bag of waste every week, I buy stuff made in China, drive my car and don't always act in an environmentally responsible way.
And you can say, at least we are working towards improving. That's true and has value. BUT ... I am not arguing that in this thread. I am using it as an illustration to make the point below:
Sometimes it takes time to get there, to analyze then understand the feeling, and then to take it a step farther and to be able to articulate it ... that's the in-between time for me when things can come out as unvarnished as some of the OP's thoughts. Ya, I thought she sounded full of herself, but I can see what she is trying to get at. I generally let myself ruminate on such things inside before expressing them in the outside world, just to avoid such misunderstandings.
I can only imagine as an extrovert having to deal with the mouth opening up and articulating spontaneously as opposed to dealing with contradictions in the internal world first.....