So where do I find a woman who likes coldness wrapped up in a superiority complex?
Joking...but yes, this reply makes a lot of sense.
So, we're making progress: women want 1.) someone driven and with direction in their life,
2.) emotional intelligence.
Now ok, I'll admit my own shortcomings happilly, but, that's a lot to ask for!
For a man that's baffling you see, most guys I think are happy with someone they find to be nice as a person, fairly attractive (relative to the guy in question), and of a similair intelligence level to themselves. Simple...almost primitive I guess you could say.
I feel like I am having a converstaion with myself, but that is ok.
Ambition, and sensitivity, yes... I desire those things in a man. I think you are on to something. It is a lot to ask for. However. I would use the language...
I would buffer the extremes. Not an alpha male, nor an asshole, boss type, dictator, dominant, captain, Business Owner, Entrepreneur... Any extreme kind of types are very eccentric, and have difficulty pair bonding.. Think on a continuum, shades of Grey, less extreme. When a man like this has gotten older or slowed down, maybe, but now way when he is young,
-This is a man of testosterone, cerebral intelligence, and adrenalin. This scares me, because I feel he is insatiable and will eat me alive, I can't meet his needs, and he will burn me out, or trade me in for a younger hottie. What I am is attracted to is the idea of procreating with this man, but having a relationship with this "asshole" is a no go. see...
for long term, staying with the children and providing for them, (that being the evolutionary point Im basing this off of) For the long term, I want a man who is able to support me, and understand me. That does take listening skills, and like you say, EQ, or emotional intelligence. I would like that, and know men have it, not just for me, but for my children, so they have that bond of the family. That emotional connection would make me feel secure so that he would not stray, and leave the family...
That combination, idealy makes sense. Just someone who is ambitious and kind. ENFJ's, ESFJ's are that way. An INTJ, can be very loyal, and loving, maybe you just haven't had a good role model, or feel uncomfortable being vulnerable and expressing them. You have to ask for help sometimes, and not be alone...
It almost like, the kind of man you have sex with, and the kind of man you marry...
I don't know where the INTJ falls into that category, but that's not my problem.