In an effort to find out what my problem is (see my other thread http://www.typologycentral.com/forums/sp-arthouse/2144-stuck-rut.html I've began to wonder whether or not I'm suffering from depression. It has been suggested to me a couple of times but I never really took it seriously.
I experience a full range of emotions, have plenty of energy and no trouble with sleeping or eating. I exercise fairly regularly now and have no problem getting myself to the gym at 6:45 in the morning. I don't have many hobbies but I still get a lot of pleasure out of them, especially my main one, which is World of Warcraft. I do drink too much alcohol (I avg 3-4 drinks a day) and caffeine but have been trying to cut back lately. I enjoy hanging out with a couple of the people from my department, which I get along with but I feel like I'm relying on them too much. Sometimes when I'm alone I miss the interaction and have trouble being on my own, which puzzles me since I'm apparently introverted according to the test.
Still, my life sucks. Not only is school unsatisfying but so is everything else. I have no family out here and no social life. I have a couple of friends from my department but it's not enough. I unfortunately have this annoying little quirk in which I either click with someone or I don't. Most of the time, by the end of the first meeting, I will know whether or not I like someone and to what degree we will get along. As you can probably guess, I don't click with most people.
I'm really frustrated and down and I feel completely lost. I also feel like a total loser. I'm 26 and never had a full-time job and here I'm meeting people in the graduate program who are my age or a little younger, who have worked over the past few years, who have traveled extensively, and have good experience. Some of them own homes, all of them own their own cars.
I guess part of this may be due to the environment I grew up in, but I should have known better. I led a very sheltered life with my parents, in which everything was done for me. I had no chores, no responsibilities and only worked part-time here and there because I felt like it. As long as I was enrolled in some kind of schooling my parents let me live with them for free. I finally figured out I wasn't getting anywhere a year ago, that I have wasted my life and decided to leave for Wyoming. My dad bought me a car before I left and stills pays the insurance on it. I should be grateful because who else does that sort of thing?
Sometimes I don't even feel like a "real" person and that I don't understand "life." It's like I'm incomplete and at this point I'm not real confident in my ability to make my own life. I'm sorely tempted to move back home with my parents though deep down I know things will get worse if I do.
P
I experience a full range of emotions, have plenty of energy and no trouble with sleeping or eating. I exercise fairly regularly now and have no problem getting myself to the gym at 6:45 in the morning. I don't have many hobbies but I still get a lot of pleasure out of them, especially my main one, which is World of Warcraft. I do drink too much alcohol (I avg 3-4 drinks a day) and caffeine but have been trying to cut back lately. I enjoy hanging out with a couple of the people from my department, which I get along with but I feel like I'm relying on them too much. Sometimes when I'm alone I miss the interaction and have trouble being on my own, which puzzles me since I'm apparently introverted according to the test.
Still, my life sucks. Not only is school unsatisfying but so is everything else. I have no family out here and no social life. I have a couple of friends from my department but it's not enough. I unfortunately have this annoying little quirk in which I either click with someone or I don't. Most of the time, by the end of the first meeting, I will know whether or not I like someone and to what degree we will get along. As you can probably guess, I don't click with most people.
I'm really frustrated and down and I feel completely lost. I also feel like a total loser. I'm 26 and never had a full-time job and here I'm meeting people in the graduate program who are my age or a little younger, who have worked over the past few years, who have traveled extensively, and have good experience. Some of them own homes, all of them own their own cars.
I guess part of this may be due to the environment I grew up in, but I should have known better. I led a very sheltered life with my parents, in which everything was done for me. I had no chores, no responsibilities and only worked part-time here and there because I felt like it. As long as I was enrolled in some kind of schooling my parents let me live with them for free. I finally figured out I wasn't getting anywhere a year ago, that I have wasted my life and decided to leave for Wyoming. My dad bought me a car before I left and stills pays the insurance on it. I should be grateful because who else does that sort of thing?
Sometimes I don't even feel like a "real" person and that I don't understand "life." It's like I'm incomplete and at this point I'm not real confident in my ability to make my own life. I'm sorely tempted to move back home with my parents though deep down I know things will get worse if I do.
P