my imagery is fast and associative. it's difficult to focus on one item. i am a good drawer, because i can focus on shapes. such an image does not have to be static at all, it just has to be reproducable. when i paint i never see the whole picture in my mind in detail, except maybe for 0.0003 seconds, which means i either see the big picture or details, but never both. i am not good with adjective impressions (colors). i will see what looks right on paper, then correct a little.
i usually "do understanding" of what is (how things work),
imagining what is predictably implied by what is known ..
or i follow random associations ...
i hardly do any story type of daydreaming at all. like a fairytale or imaginary flirting with an unknown stranger. (= not predictable, but made up. wishful)
in fact, i can hardly ever get enough mental focus on a story-like unfolding to find masturbation interesting/satisfying. i think, i am just not interested enough. if i was interested in developing a story, the images would become more solid. but the experience seems to become boring, as soon as i know what it is going to be about. i won't evoke something that i already know. i mean, you have to be attached to repeat something over an over again, right? this is why i associate dreaming with emotion and not with intuition. when i am really attached to a memory (because it was very nice) or a solid concrete wish to do things with the bodyparts of a real person, then the images will be solid enough. but i don't usually use my emotions in a desiring way. i cant entertain myself emotionally. i use emotions right here right now, like perception. they are just my reactions to places i go mentally. if a place is really interesting to my emotions, they can make me stay there a little bit longer.
i make active use of extroverted feeling and my introverted feeling is supposed to be automatic (subconscious in it's source) and it's supposed to be supplementing to my conscious emotions. but my Fe is conditioned in such a way, that it won't allows the automatic introverted feeling to enter my awareness, most of the time. this is schizoid. i only have conscious Fi influence, if something drastic happens to me, like a conversation with a friend. if i am alone, i don't know what my Fi is doing inside of me. i can't allow it in. the suppression is automatic, because conditioning (of Fe) is automatic and 90% of what Fe or any function does is: it's being a major part of my conditioned personality.
so, this is type of being "weak" emotionally is often associated with being schizoid or autism or maybe just being male.
when people read on those silly sites about personality disorders, that schizoid people have rather flat feelings, they think these people are cold. that is far from the truth. they might be cold.
they may likely be way to sensitive emotionally to face their general emotions about live.
and they do have possibly very strong emotional reactions to what is happening to them right now.
whether they are cool or cold or not, has nothing to do with the problem of being schizoid.
they just cant hold on to emotions from the past,
for long enough to deepen them and can hardly feel about things that are not present.
so they can't have a emotional self-awareness or a consciosus emotional identity.
this means, they cant make a live-plan based on what they "want".
so they just live into the day, which is considered to be dysfunctional in our society.
however there is such a thing as schizoid [Fi (Pe) Te] types and what i said about myself is obviously not comparable to them.
i actually believe that it is nonsense to call them by the same name (schizoid), but what can you do, the world of the DSM is fucking stupid and a diagnosis like that is really just serving the purpose of declaring the patient to be unworthy of further treatment-investments. they might just call us "sensitive psychopaths" like they did 80 years ago. it just implies that we are not part of the huge group of people who don't have enough of a psyche to have a psycho-pathology, so i take it as a compliment.