Mikosan77
New member
- Joined
- Mar 19, 2017
- Messages
- 6
- MBTI Type
- ENFP
Hello World (lol).
So I'm an ENFP and was in a 6 month relationship with an ISTJ which ended amiably, I guess. Getting close to the 6 month mark in the relationship I was feeling unappreciated, like he loved the idea of having a girlfriend and not necessarily interested in me as a person or accepting my uniqueness. I would assume alot of the issues we had were with the way we met (Match.com) and we probably should have taken time to get to know each other as friends before becoming romantic, but you know what they say, opposites attract. In addition, at 26 yrs old I was his very first girlfriend. Over the course of our relationship we had several situations where I wanted to give up and he begged me to stay, so I did because I truly believe he cared, but we just didn't know how to fix what was wrong. Well he reached a breaking point and stated that although he cared alot for me, he felt we were just too different. I freaked out and realized that I actually wasn't ready to end things, so I begged him to consider just taking a break to clear our heads and figure out what we want/need in the relationship. He agreed and just before the break was scheduled to end he called me out the blue to say that while he missed me and wanted to be with me he felt our differences were too much for him and that we'd eventually be back in the same situation months later. He then asked if we could be friends because his "life would definitely be worse having known me, to then have me completely gone." I said, "I can't," that it would be too hard for me. Then I gave in to his request because I was simply afraid of letting go of him. I may have jumped the gun with trying to be friends, we hung out four times and talked on the phone once a week over the past two months.When we're out together it's bitter sweet, because as we enjoy each other's company, I get nostalgic about the times we shared and miss being able to mean more to him yet feeling convinced that he'll never look at me that way again. I asked him if he wanted to hang out for my birthday at this science center and he agreed and afterwards he said he wanted to do something nice for me by taking me to lunch even though 3 hours later he was going to a restaurant with his friends. I really appreciated the gesture and although it made me feel really special, it made me feel really sad. So two days later I called him to tell him my feelings and he didn't answer (likely sleep) so I left him a voicemail saying I couldn't handle being his friend and I needed time away from him (not sure how much, but I'm thinking a year). I'm not sure how he received the message and I'm worried that it hurt him, but at the same time to continue this way is not healthy for me. I hope I didn't hurt him. Should I call him again and actually speak to him to make sure that he gets closure?
P.S. Sorry for this being so long, I just had a lot on my mind through this whole thing and needed to release it.
So I'm an ENFP and was in a 6 month relationship with an ISTJ which ended amiably, I guess. Getting close to the 6 month mark in the relationship I was feeling unappreciated, like he loved the idea of having a girlfriend and not necessarily interested in me as a person or accepting my uniqueness. I would assume alot of the issues we had were with the way we met (Match.com) and we probably should have taken time to get to know each other as friends before becoming romantic, but you know what they say, opposites attract. In addition, at 26 yrs old I was his very first girlfriend. Over the course of our relationship we had several situations where I wanted to give up and he begged me to stay, so I did because I truly believe he cared, but we just didn't know how to fix what was wrong. Well he reached a breaking point and stated that although he cared alot for me, he felt we were just too different. I freaked out and realized that I actually wasn't ready to end things, so I begged him to consider just taking a break to clear our heads and figure out what we want/need in the relationship. He agreed and just before the break was scheduled to end he called me out the blue to say that while he missed me and wanted to be with me he felt our differences were too much for him and that we'd eventually be back in the same situation months later. He then asked if we could be friends because his "life would definitely be worse having known me, to then have me completely gone." I said, "I can't," that it would be too hard for me. Then I gave in to his request because I was simply afraid of letting go of him. I may have jumped the gun with trying to be friends, we hung out four times and talked on the phone once a week over the past two months.When we're out together it's bitter sweet, because as we enjoy each other's company, I get nostalgic about the times we shared and miss being able to mean more to him yet feeling convinced that he'll never look at me that way again. I asked him if he wanted to hang out for my birthday at this science center and he agreed and afterwards he said he wanted to do something nice for me by taking me to lunch even though 3 hours later he was going to a restaurant with his friends. I really appreciated the gesture and although it made me feel really special, it made me feel really sad. So two days later I called him to tell him my feelings and he didn't answer (likely sleep) so I left him a voicemail saying I couldn't handle being his friend and I needed time away from him (not sure how much, but I'm thinking a year). I'm not sure how he received the message and I'm worried that it hurt him, but at the same time to continue this way is not healthy for me. I hope I didn't hurt him. Should I call him again and actually speak to him to make sure that he gets closure?
P.S. Sorry for this being so long, I just had a lot on my mind through this whole thing and needed to release it.