Let's look at this question:
"In the kind of conversation that 21% used as an example, how should a Fe user politely get back on to the subject they need to vent about?"
perfect, this is the example question i was planning on using
At this point, there's no reason to hear about a similar situation you've been through. To put it quite bluntly, if I were fidelia, I just wouldn't care. You're doing something for me, right now, and it's rude to yank the spotlight back on oneself through that sort of thing (at least, that's how it's perceived).
It's all right if you want to go through the experience in your head, but she just wants the nugget of relevant information burrowed within it: "what's the point that things went bad, and how could they have gone better?" That's it, because she's got a busy life as well, and going on and on about something that bears little relevance in her life is wasting her time. That may not seem very nice, but that's how I at least perceive it.
Ahhhh, ok i see. This is actually very interesting because not wanting to waste peoples time is exactly why I don't speak unless I have some relevant experience. Maybe experience isn't necessarily the best word, but if i have little to no connection to the situation, then me wildly speculating doesn't strike me as being very productive...unless i'm under the impression that that is what I am being asked to do.
this is the first time I've really spoken up in the thread because until now I didn't have what i perceive as anything meaningful to say. That doesn't mean the topic itself wasn't important to me. Again, quite the opposite, since it was important and interesting to me I didn't want to ruin it with baseless opinion so instead I chose to read/listen as intently as possible. It has very little to do with consciously wanting to make the conversation about me, although I see what you're saying and I certainly see how it can be perceived that way.
When i talk about wanting to have relevant personal experience it's not that I'm necessarily talking
about a personal experience specifically, but i'm well aware that my experiences colour my perspective. If i have no experience/connection/whatever you want to call it, i'm well aware that this also colours my perspective.
In this case i had absolutely NO idea how to answer this question. I had zero common ground or connection with this question. I don't know how an Fe user should get back on the subject they want to vent about. I don't see me taking shots in the dark as adding constructively to the dialogue.
"Maybe just say let's get back on topic?" is what i would be inclined to say, but I have no idea. Is this helpful to fidelia? What does that have to do with Fe exactly? is this an important contribution to the topic at hand? it didn't look like it to me, so in my eyes it's best to keep my mouth shut. The way i see it, THIS is something that would waste her time and probably mine too.
I think it's maybe similar to why I feel the need to explain to you all my thought processes (Ti) when you probably would prefer the basic facts (Te). All that other stuff (which makes up the wall of text) seems to obscure my point. My guess is that because Fi is an introverted function, it does the the same thing, but with experiences and feelings. What do you guys think?
I think this is exactly it. It's not to say that only things that are relevant to me are worth discussing; quite the opposite actually. It's more that if I'm going to participate in a discussion then I want my contributions to actually
be relevant. As an Fi user, I do that through Fi.