substitute
New member
- Joined
- May 27, 2007
- Messages
- 4,601
- MBTI Type
- ENTP
Reading the Jack Flak vs Mighty Mouse thread in the Graveyard triggered some thoughts...
A few years ago, when I was just beginning to start a new life, from previously being very isolated and having next to no social experience, skills or confidence, I had an ENFP brother and an ESFP friend who took it on themselves to bring me out of my shell... and their methods ended up driving me totally crazy until I finally exploded and sorta had to fire them both from my life temporarily and closet myself away again for several months.
Then I emerged again, gradually, and did things my way... and within a year it started to become clear that I had all the time been an extravert, just a severely stunted one... and I made such huge progress that by the end of that year people were not believing me when I said I related to them if they told me they had social anxiety.
Hmm... I've no doubt that if I hadn't stood up to my self-appointed mentors and carried on doing things their way, then to this day I'd probably still be riddled with anxieties and complexes... in fact, one of the reasons why I hermit-ed myself for so long after my explosion was because I had so many NEW anxieties that had only been put in place BY the things they put me through.
I know they only meant well, but the effect of their good intentions was disastrous. The amazing thing is, they still to this day don't acknowledge any fault in this, and hold that their methods were 'fine', and the only problem was me. Despite the fact that, through different methods, I've become very much a social creature!
Does anyone else have experience of being forced out of their shell? Did it work for anyone? Anyone have experience of doing it for themselves?
A few years ago, when I was just beginning to start a new life, from previously being very isolated and having next to no social experience, skills or confidence, I had an ENFP brother and an ESFP friend who took it on themselves to bring me out of my shell... and their methods ended up driving me totally crazy until I finally exploded and sorta had to fire them both from my life temporarily and closet myself away again for several months.
Then I emerged again, gradually, and did things my way... and within a year it started to become clear that I had all the time been an extravert, just a severely stunted one... and I made such huge progress that by the end of that year people were not believing me when I said I related to them if they told me they had social anxiety.
Hmm... I've no doubt that if I hadn't stood up to my self-appointed mentors and carried on doing things their way, then to this day I'd probably still be riddled with anxieties and complexes... in fact, one of the reasons why I hermit-ed myself for so long after my explosion was because I had so many NEW anxieties that had only been put in place BY the things they put me through.
I know they only meant well, but the effect of their good intentions was disastrous. The amazing thing is, they still to this day don't acknowledge any fault in this, and hold that their methods were 'fine', and the only problem was me. Despite the fact that, through different methods, I've become very much a social creature!
Does anyone else have experience of being forced out of their shell? Did it work for anyone? Anyone have experience of doing it for themselves?