I think that may have everything to do with our need to release stress in a physical manner, only now convulted and warped.
It's been very difficult for me to separate what I am from what has happened to me. This has been part of the learning experience, trying desperately to figure out where I, at my core, begin, and where I, based on experience and hardship, end. I try to think of things as they were as a child - what were my motivations, what were my instincts and reactions, what made me happy.
I liked performing, I liked being praised, I liked spending a lot of time to myself to draw or dress-up or play with my Barbies/model horses/plastic animals.
I had pet fish while Jaye had hamsters.
I always sat in the backseat of the car because Jaye would get carsick, and I didn't mind that too much. It gave me time to stare off into space and daydream. Jaye was way more outgoing than me.
I was scattered, disorganized, never had what I needed at school, got very upset when I got a lower grade than I expected on tests, hated math, loved reading (but NOT in a reading group, that made me insane because I had to wait on slow/very poor readers). I was always getting in trouble for socializing. I stood up for my friends.
I was anxious socially and distrusted people. I was an amazingly good liar to get what I wanted out of adults (though I'd feel really guilty about it later). To me, being honest was very important, but when I had a non-compliant authority figure (like a teacher, not my parents) I could get slick pretty quickly. I was quite the little racketeer (much to the astonishment of my parents and sister when I told them later in life).
I was, from birth, a moody, nervous, "let me do it myself" somewhat-standoffish sensitive person. I walked two months before my sister (I walked fairly early at 9 months) because I HAD to know how the adults were doing it, and Jaye was very content to be toted around and smooched.
I was a tomboy and wallflower well into my teens.
Creative writing, listening to the radio and drawing were my absolute favorite things besides going to sleepovers with my friends.
4w3 feels right to me at this point (Jaye read it and agrees, and thinks our father is an INFJ 4w5). I don't relate to 1s, 2s, or 3s (which surprised me). A 3w2 sounds interesting to me though because it sounds like what I *might* have been if left to my malignancies.