EJCC
The Devil of TypoC
- Joined
- Aug 29, 2008
- Messages
- 19,129
- MBTI Type
- ESTJ
- Enneagram
- 1w9
- Instinctual Variant
- sp/so
w/r to 1w2, these are the top things IME:If dating a/married to a e1 are there day to day minor things in general to e1s - and preferably limited to e1s - that could be done to avoid annoying you and make you happy?
1) Encourage us to cut ourselves some slack/help us put things into perspective, when we're stressed out or upset about something (which is a lot of the time, lol); and
2) Recognize how hard we work to keep things running smoothly, and/or offering to help. We can get pretty resentful if we find ourselves doing all the work without any sort of acknowledgment, appreciation, or help.
There are probably more things, but I can't think of them at the moment. [MENTION=20829]Hard[/MENTION]?
Ah! Yes that definitely applies to my childhood, for the most part. I think generally what happens with 1 kids, is that they're so well-behaved and law-abiding, early on, that their parents get lazy with discipline -- giving the 1 kid a lot of independence and not a lot of guidance/feedback, trusting them implicitly to tell the truth and do the right thing*. Which leads to the 1 kid making very harsh rules for themselves in order to avoid their parents' rare and unpredictable criticism.I should have expounded on the basis of the question; Riso and Hudson’s enneagram podcast (the enneagram one description is approximately 5 minutes) stated this regarding the childhood of an E1:
As children, ones were good boys and good girls who learned to discipline and restrain themselves and postpone rewards until their work was done. They often disliked or distrusted authority figures who they usually saw as unjust or arbitrary or indifferent. As a result, young ones decided to take the issue of reward and punishment onto themselves. Their own consciences would be their guide, they were praised and rewarded for being adult and rational at an early age and may not have had a very happy or carefree childhood.Which is interesting as I would say it somewhat corresponds to your childhoods.
The bolded doesn't quite apply to me, and it seems too specific. I'd say that 1 kids probably grow up seeing authority figures as either 1) awesome, or 2) hypocritical and undeserving of their position. Black and white. For example, when I was an older kid (9-12), I rebelled against teachers who I didn't see as capable, or qualified. Looking back on it, my instinct was right most of the time, but it was still pretty damn arrogant of me.
*My mother, also a 1w2, speaks very harshly about parents with rowdy/disruptive children, in a way that suggests she was never a parent. Funny how naive parents can be, when their only child was never a "problem"!